星期天的随想

美思的那么一通电话竟平辅了我错乱的世界..

或许在“争权夺利”，封闭自己的当儿，我也逐渐失去了自己。不知从何起，耀芳已不再是朋友诉说心事的对象。　反倒是变成那个整天埋怨的那个..

但隐藏在深处的我，依然愿意也希望能守护着她深深在乎的朋友，即使她不愿明显的表现出来..

只要那些她在乎的，不要过于明显的伤害她吧..

Horribly Nostalgic..

Just watched some of the real Channel U's snippets on Youtube. 2 years do make such lot of difference to a person. Whilst doing some 'time travelling', I realised the changes have been so drastic..

Wonder what Honghui is doing for his hols now. Haven't seen him online in a real long while. Feels just like yesterday when I was on the verge of breakdown before my Public Law paper. Hmm..

I don't need new friends. Just give me back my old friends, under all the old circumstances. Maybe throw in everything old too. Moving too quickly just means losing grasp.

Oh.. and the rain reminds me of the December holidays in primary school.

Dinner with Gary!

Finally! Seems like it's quite hard to meet up, even if it's just to pass Gary my present from Malacca! In exchange, I received a really really cute bear which I played with the entire night (much to Gary's dismay.. haha) and a really nice dinner! Thank you, Gary!

Anyway, how can it be possible not to have a running commentary and photos here? Here it is..

First of all, dinner at the Kopitiam opposite Cineleisure! My mum actually commented "How come you ate sting ray?" cause I had commented earlier this year about how I wouldn't want to eat murderers (for those who have not been following the news, a naughty sting ray in Australia did become a murderer! hmpf!) Anyway, since Gary would it eat anyway, why should I not touch something that I like, right? Haha.. And whilst waiting for our dinner to be cooked, I started bullying Gary into taking photos with my bear! =)

I've deliberately chosen the blurred one, since the main character (err.. aside from my bear!) prefers the blurred one. =)

And then, we went off to Taka, initially thinking of our dessert..

That was a difficult tree to take a photo of. Next time, they shouldn't make it so tall!!! =(

Since wherever we wanted to go to was crowded, we decided to run off to another branch. But not before checking out the Heeren for something resembling that of Gary's bag badge:

(picture missing because blogger refuses to upload this for now)

And just to compare my bear's size with a set of CDs' keyboard-like covering:

Finally, it's dessert and snacks time!!! Gary is always ordering the same drink!! But I had a new dessert!! =)

I loved my dinner yesterday, Mr Chan! Thank you!! And thanks so much for the bear!! Just imagine, I took more photos with my bear when I got home..

Yoooohoooo!!!

Who cares if I have to face bitches and assholes? And really dumb ones too..

My pupil master replied my email!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Seow Hwei called me this afternoon after she heard from MY pupil master that the company I am in does not take a certain stand, something that I did not realise at that point too. The gist is, I emailed him to thank him and I assumed that he wouldn't reply.

But he did!!!!! And I actually exclaimed from my seat!!!

I am not so sure about the legal basis, but I recall at least a couple of your chaps saying this to me over the past few years.

Anyway, hope things are going well for you.

I'm sooooo happy now! =) All the squeals and barks of those bitches can be ignored for today! =)

You know how clean your office is...

When two rats are caught in a single mousetrap in the office.

Of course, it's also telling when two mouse traps are set up, one on each end of the office and then the two rats were caught in the same trap, not on my side of the office *phew*

Although it means noise pollution will whine and whine the entire day.

On another note, I received another email that thrilled me immensely..

Yao Fang

same as the time when you were here, you can call me by my first name. no need for "Mr". I am not that venerable.

thanks.

Best Regards

SP

He left out his surname in the sign off too. Although, I think I used to either call him 'Sir' or 'Mr L' too.. Thank you, Mr L! =)

认识你, 真好!

好久好久没有华语写什么了. Just had that urge to type in Chinese, until I realise it's not very practical to do so, given the lack of a Chinese program. I'll probably take years to finish this entry whilst creatively using Babelfish to translate single words.

Before I start on another paragraph, I'm suddenly reminded of Ms Dorothy Chua's numerous "no link!" comments in my GP essays. Yes, at the risk of having no links between the paragraphs, I shall continue typing just whatever that pops up in my mind.

Seriously, one never realises how fast time flies until one stops and thinks. Just imagine, as we were talking about Mr Frankie Tan, Mr Timothy Chee and even Mr Swaran Singh today, 6 years or so had just zoomed by us! Yet, at the same time, time seemed to shrink so significantly as the group of us laughed at the reminder of Mr Singh's erm... aesthetic sense? =)

There are many kinds of happiness. There's the super heady kind where one gets a sudden huge dose of cheer. Then, there is also the really mild kind that lingers on and on, somewhat like the feeling after bitting on a piece of 甘草 (licorice, according to Babelfish).

Frankly, I didn't expect this evening to give me that latter feeling. Thanks to the newest tuition kid that I don't exactly like, I almost didn't turn up for the mini class dinner today. Not sure whether I should be thankful to the Metro-Parking thing or not, but it made me just decide that I couldn't be bothered about what the kid or his mum would react.

Which is a good thing actually.

All of us have grown and moved on in our lives. And when you get together again, you realise that you don't exactly know everyone already. Yet, the 2 years when we studied together provided just that fine line to join all of us together, and as certain memories pop up, the ice thaws and you still get to laugh together. After a day at work dealing with the dumb-est people in the world, it's always very nice to moth back to a person you used to be.. Instead of being the irritable, ready-to-bite-off-stupid-colleagues'-head person, it's really warm to be smiling and just simply relaxing with people who matter.

Yes... 99S29.. I love you!

A pleasant surprise

Just when the weekend threatened to become a really boring work-like one, I received a surprise MSN message from a big brother of mine. And that was how I spent the late part of the day immersed in crafts (ok, we were only browsing). I never knew such 'fair' existed until today, nor did I realise the number of people who make their own crafts to sell.

Thanks for the handphone cover, and more importantly, the big brotherly concern!! =) Although... who says I keep dropping my phone huh? I've more or less kicked that habit, k? Still, I love the handphone cover!! Yes, and thanks for contact lens solution reminder! =)

Mental note to myself though, I need to kick my habit of being late! I think I caused Itak da ge to wait for almost an hour (although I didn't realise what time he would get there.. Hmm) Still, sorry!! If only da ge would scold me.. Then again, da ge being da ge, I doubt he would...

Actually, I thought I would be tempted to sneak a peak at a person's blog for photos of another person's brother's wedding (I'm more or less sure that this person would put it up anyway). In the end, I'm not, and I don't ever think I actually feel like seeing the photos anyway. Good! Just shows that spring cleaning has not really gone to waste. Besides, I've more than sufficient friends whom I hold dear!! =)

On a side note though.. Good luck for your final paper, grandfather! And good luck for your series of PLC papers, SY! =)

Too much of something may not be a good thing

Was pretty much excited on Thursday, all the way till Friday, even though certain people irritated a whole lot out of me those 2 days. But it didn't matter, because I was supposed to get a quotation from R----, and my manager had told me to email my pupil master. MY PUPIL MASTER! I haven't heard from him since I've finished pupillage, and in a way, I guess he's glad to have finally gotten rid of his pupil, but still, the thought of being able to send an email to my pupil master and getting a response simply thrilled me no end. The feeling of wanting to skip all around just at the thought of being able to email my pupil master. Besides, if matters progressed to a trial, I might finally get a chance to watch my pupil master do a trial! It's something that I've always wanted, but never had a chance to. Even though in the end, my manager still made me email Mr Lek. It doesn't really matter. I'm still excited at the thought of the reply email from Mr Lek, and wondering who would be assigned to the case.

It's been a really long while since I've been so thrilled about a piece of work, although I do agree that if I were to be able to do this very often, I may not be as excited as I am now. Too much of something that exciting may just simply turn that thing into something bland.

Just like the chocolate buffet I had with LiJia.

We survived the first round relatively ok. Then we went for our second round.

Delicious looking isn't it? Disappointingly though, we had a REALLY hard time finishing this. Which meant we didn't had a go at the chocolate drink or the chocolate fountain!

Still, I do hope the birthday girl enjoyed the chocolate torture! =)

On a side note though, I realise we've not taken a photo together! Let's take one next time we meet, k?

Mum's birthday

Happy Birthday, Li Jia!

Dearest Lijia,

After knowing me for so many years, I'm sure you should have figured that I always tend to procrastinate. So, instead of mailing you a snail mail birthday card, which would have been much sweeter, I ended up typing this open letter to you.

Can you still remember the first time we met? All of us were sitted at the sports gallery. I think you said 'hi' to both Clara and me. We ended up talking a lot as we had our lunch at Ghim Moh void deck that day. Orientation... Pufferilla... Amongoeth... ZQ... and then 1S03J.. Chinese lessons (or rather the lack of).. Council elections.. Somehow or rather, you were there in almost all the memories of 1st 3 months JC life.

Perhaps that was one reason why I really didn't mind having to go through the heartache of changing schools. Even if I had another choice again, I don't think I'll want to enter NJC during my first 3 months. No. That would mean one less friend whom I didn't really know how to treasure in the past, but who'll always play a really important role in my life. A treasure whom I might be able to do without, but I don't really want to miss.

Jia, thank you for all the laughter, tears and perhaps even the irritation shared. Thank you for tolerating my less-than-nice behaviour when I had a short fuse. Actually, more importantly, thank you for being my friend all these years, and giving me the honour of being one of the rare few who are permitted to call you by your Chinese name.

Happy birthday, dear!

May all your birthday wishes come true and may you always be surrounded by people who love you dearly!

Of course, no matter what the future holds, or whatever decisions you make, you'll always have a friend here who will stand by you!

luv

Fang

Catching Up

In order to be in tandem, 2 persons have to move at the same pace. If one dashes forward whilst the other inches on, the gap in between will inevitably widen.

Not that I am saying that the faster one should be moving at the latter's pace. Rather, a good leader is not one who is always ahead of the pack, but one who is able to look back and motivate those behind to move forward. Instead of moving forward alone, isn't it more important for a group to be all moving forward at a reasonable pace?

There is nothing wrong in increasing prices, yes, nothing wrong, if the entire society is indeed progressing well as a whole. Like the countless analogies of stabbing someone and then giving out plasters, I really do not see how increasing GST would benefit the less well off. What does it mean when you say that the economy has improved, that the unemployment rate has gone down? Would you consider an ex-manager currently working as a cleaner as a sign of improvement? I doubt so.

The point is, if the lead is going to continue running at his own pace without looking back, all the while expecting those behind to keep up, someday, he's going to lose sight of them. Then what happens? He would have to stop in order to continue to be a leader of a group instead of the sole member of solitude. In a world that is constantly moving forward, can he afford that?

Perhaps getting a balance in life is always much easier said than done.

The same goes for friendship, doesn't it? Or any human relationship for that matter. If you want things to remain the same, the only way to do so is not to remain unchange, but rather, change at the same rate. Perhaps even at the end of the day when two paths diverge, one can always be glad that you've once been at the same pace.

Food again..

Potato once commented how dressing in a more presentable manner was necessary when meeting up with friends because it was a show of respect. I guess that's true in a way, since I always tend to be awfully late for work on days when I am meeting up with sufficiently important friends, or how I'll put on contact lenses despite a severe lack of sleep (not a result of work, of course).

In any case, the only things pulling me to work today was the thought of lunch with Stephen and Tony as well as dinner with Weiguang. As pathetic as it sounds, yes, this is really what drags me to work and keeps me going nowadays. No wonder I'm turning from fat to fatter! Hah!

If only the AMC were this week, then I could have had a longer lunch with Stephen and Tony, and sneak off with them to get bubble tea (It's supposed to be somewhere nearer Rochor branch, where they are at now although Stephen is coming back to HQ when he's back from Korea!) Sometimes, it's really not the food that matters. Just like, I don't necessary think I do love bubble tea that much. The point is running off to have bubble tea with friends. It's just like how I don't mind having to wait for the 2 guys whilst they (or rather Tony only) get done with servicing. So what if I risk getting breathed down my neck? It's not like my manager, or the other colleagues go for strictly one hour lunch only anyway. (Oh dear, I do hope the matters typed here are not being audited..)

Back to dinner. This time, it's back to Purvis Street although we had some Hainanese food today. Interestingly, even though we had chicken rice balls, I don't remember us ordering any chicken!

Somehow I think the lady serving us must be amused/amazed at how the 2 of us can actually finish 4 dishes within a short span of time. Especially when even I am amused by our eating capability! Then again, it's soo normal when having meals with dinner with either Weiguang or Gary, I think.. Haha..

Talking about my dinner companion. Unfortunately for you, I did manage to get a photo of you!

A smiling Randall looks so different from the expressionless one. Even if you think I'm exaggerating, you really look much better with that smile on your face. That's why my obsession with talking smiling photos of you. So smile more often, k? (And no, that's NOT mothering.. haha)

And finally, the snacks that Mr Tan bought for me!!!

I love them!!! Thank You!!

Even though I love Hei Bai Pei, it really doesn't mean you have to buy that for me all the time! Still... I really really love it!!! Thank you so much!!! =)

Grandmother's Birthday

In between the numerous meeting up with people, it was also grandmother's birthday. Somehow, Wai Po's birthday has always been associated with exams, cause it would always inevitably fall during the exam period.

This year, I was still dreading the thought of Huimin's mum bugging me about my most sensitive topic, ie. work and pay. Her braggy character would be too much a test to my impatience (especially after I've started working here.. As I've told Mr Tan, bitchiness can diffuse in air too.. haha) In the end, I spent most of my time playing/entertaining YanLing and BingRui, which wasn't too bad really.

And, what's grandparents' birthday celebration if there's no food? A pity that Wai Po's ankle/foot is injured this year, so Junyan's mum was in charge. Though I still love Wai Po's noodles best, Junyan's mum's food was impressive too! Especially the yam flowers which look as good as they taste!

Meeting up

Contrary to what someone had 'accused' me of, I'm really much more free the past few weeks, so much so that I've been meeting up with quite a significant number of people over the 3 weeks.

First, my almost-akin-to-monthly lunch with Tee Meng. I couldn't remember why I just couldn't be bothered, but I met up with Tee Meng over lunch, despite my manager not being on leave. Although I really can't remember exactly for now, I still vaguely recall being really unwell that day and Tee Meng kindly agreed to go for some soup-ier food ie. fish slices bee hoon. For those who know me well enough, I hate eating fishes in water. However, the food did me loads of good and I was much better immediately after lunch. Or perhaps it was the company I had. I guess the most memorable food for that day was this shanza ice cream shake drink which Tee Meng thought sounded disgusting but which I thought was really nice:

That evening, I had dinner with a certain Mr Tan at *surprise surprise* Waraku again! This is the third time in a row that we met for dinner there. Mr Tan was still as happy with the food, judging from his happy face.

Dessert was at another Japanese restaurant (after we had gone to that Taiwanese snack shop of course) that I had always wanted to enter. And the dessert didn't disappoint either!

Ah... and I was given a really pretty handphone accessory that I absolutely love even though I had problems hanging it to my silly phone.The following Monday was dinner with Vicknesh. It's been a really long while since I've last met him, the last time being the time I fell off the bicycle and had to go for a client meeting the next Monday with significant plasters. This time round, we decided to be adventurous with food (then again, we've always been, given that the last time round, we ate the outer skin of the fruits for our desserts.. haha). This time, we had our dinner at this Turkey restaurant at Chijmes. Somehow, for the entire time we were there, we were the only customers. Then again, it's really not difficult to figure out why. In fact, if anyone wants to go there, you might want to stick to some dish called "Alexander the Great" or something only. Still, they had rather interesting cups! And exotic dishes.

And then, some time last week, it was a long-talked-about dinner with Mingyi. Some things just don't change. Like how we'll always talk about meeting up for lunch or dinner, but only do so a million years later. I can't exactly remember what we chatted about, but I just remember it was fun.

Just in case anyone wonders, nope, those were just desserts (or starters, since they served it before our main course). And I didn't get to take a photo of my dinner companion too! No thanks to my bad memory!

These are just a few of the dinners/lunch I had. There were others too, like with Beatrice and Chee Min, Weiling and the birthday dinner for Weiling and Alex.

With so many dinners, it's no wonder I'm getting fatter!! Argh! But somehow, I don't seem to be really genuinely worried, given that it was still food last weekend when I went over to Malacca.

That's chicken rice in case you are wondering. And to end it off, here's a night view of Malacca from the balcony.

Do I really look happy?

Kia Meng said that today, when asking about work.

It suddenly reminded me of what Jen Wei told Weiling during pupillage. That I'm happy there.

The most ironic thing is, both times, I wasn't. But, I just didn't want to say.

The feeling of depression is gradually setting in, though I've no idea why now. The feeling of just wanting to break down and cry and cry and cry without any reason. Frankly, I'm tired. I'm tired of having to smile to people I hate to the core and would rather stamp on their toes or give them one tight slap. I'm tired of having to be nice to people because I have to and not because I want to. I'm tired of calculating 6% compound interest and deciding what the most appropriate time would be. I'm tired of the fact that I can't take a real break immediately at the end of the work day even though I'm awfully tired in all aspects.

I need a break to shut myself off everyone and everything.

On another note, the highlight of the day was lunch with Terence, Kia Meng and Jen Wei. Even if someone suddenly dumped a piece of work on me (cause both D and he cannot make it) and I was supposed to have a meeting at 2pm. WTH. I don't even care if the other person would make noise if I'm back after 2pm (in any case, I sent him an email wanting to reschedule to 2.30 but for some reasons he didn't seem to have seen it). I really really really cannot be bothered. Lunch was the only thing that helped me survive through the morning and no way am I going to give it up just for some dumb stuff.

Oh, and PF will be relocating to Hong Kong. That's like less than a year after he left R! Still, I'm glad for him! =)

To 'Grandfather'

Dear GX,

Somehow or rather, I don't seem to be able to say the correct words to find out what's wrong.

But I just want to say, "Jia You, GX!"

And.. you know if you ever need a friend, I'll always be a phone call/sms away.

luv

Fang

Distance makes the heart grow fonder

Or does it?

As people begin to stay apart, their common topics gradually decrease. Slowly, they run out of things to talk about. Then, not wanting to face the awkwardness, they tend to stay away from each other and so the vicious cycle continues.

Sometimes I really wonder how true this phrase is.

Then again, if you look at it from another point of view, two people who have not met each other for a long while continue to stay apart. What remains would be the fond memories of the time spent with each other. As one reminisces those days, one would normally end up lamenting about the "good old times". Everything remains as pretty, so long as everything stays intact (including the distance). One change, and the fragile calm may suddenly be shattered.

It's just like how people tend to be more tolerant of those they don't normally see. Precisely because they don't see each other often, they have a higher limit of tolerance.

Frankly, I don't know and really don't feel like figuring out tonight.

Still remember the shell analogy I used in some letter to Qiuting? I feel like building it again. This time, just hiding myself in it.

Oh another note, I'm glad the package I sent reached the intended owner finally =)

And Itak is once again in Singapore. He actually bought whatever he promised me, even though I told him it wasn't necessary. =)

I think..

Before I make any more new friends, perhaps I should learn to treasure the ones I have first. And at least make an effort to know them better.

Ignore me.. It's just an effect I have after chancing upon a friend's blog yesterday.

On another note, I saw Meisi online! She didn't type anything back. But her brother (at least I think so..) said she said "ok" when I said we'll chat on MSN again someday. I know we'll be able to do that again, Meisi. Jia you!

The lost feeling continues ever since it started yesterday.

Pushover

Over dinner today, I made a comment that Gary agreed with. The fiercest person always wins.

I couldn't help recalling something that Sarah commented about a teacher of hers, and then linked on to me. Am I a pushover? Perhaps no in some aspects, but yes, in quite a few more too.

It's time I stop being a pushover at all, especially when I'm situated in enemy territory.

It's so obvious the little pawn here will be shoved off elsewhere. Eeeeeeeeediots

PS: Just can't help but think it necessary to note my attire to work today. No skirt! Just ask my schoolmates how rare that is! Haha..

******

Some photos of Gary looking a bit deliriously happy.. Haha..

A rare moment that Mr Chan is nice, but then, it's most likely because he was too lazy to get another knife!

Network

There was a sentence in an article in today's 'my paper' that mentioned a research by Stanford University that revealed that 12.5% of a person's wealth came from that person's knowledge whilst the remainder 87.5% was dependant upon human relations.

Perhaps that's one tiring thing about growing up.

When we were younger, all the 'don't friend you' and stuff were such common occurences. It was no big deal if you hear it so many times a day (although to a kid, it was a whole lot of deal!) Slowly, the sound of all these 'don't friend you' died down, though it did not necessary mean that you still tried to live (ok, or maybe study) harmoniously with the others. Then came life university (ie. work) where you learnt how things are not necessary what they seem, and the best of way of protecting yourself is, interestingly, to have as large a network as possible.

Though that doesn't necessary mean that you have more friends. Simply because network is not necessary equivalent to friends.

When talking about networking, the first person that came to my mind was the HCB (refer to Gary for the meaning.. haha) sitting near me. A all-talk-no-action yeee-diot who's greatest strength in life is probably networking. That suits him fine too, because from the look of it, he doesn't suffer much from his eee-diocy.

Which is no wonder why Caroline asked me to join them for the trip to Batam (which I am going for). Actually, without the possibility of Itak's offer to bring me around, I would be way more hesistant. Then again, like what some had said, it's just 1 night, I won't die of that. If all else fails, just stick to smiling =)

Perhaps short term networking is not as tough as really maintaining a friendship. Was immersed in the fictitious world of a particular book the last 2 days. A book that at the beginning reminded me of a person and made me rethink certain thoughts. Yet, at the end of the day, I've finally noticed the obvious difference between the characters in the book and the people in real life. For one thing at least, no matter where they were, they would always be keeping in touch, and be genuinely concerned about their friend. Unlike real life.

Still, interestingly, it doesn't really matter to me.

Lijia made a comment today, something to the effect of friendster and my friends. Jia, if you are referring to the testimonials, I'll just say, testimonials are never a true reflection, at least not when both parties write for each other. It's different from our school testimonials since we don't write our teachers' testimonials (err... right, teachers?) =)