Consciousness vs Subconsciousness

Saw this on a friend's blog, something thought provoking, yet at the same time, I couldn't really comprehend.

"Clear your mind. Think about the person. Then think about one good thing that the person has done for you. At this point in time what is the very first thing that comes to mind? Be honest. Then think about one bad thing that the person has done to you. Again what is the very first feeling, impression or word that surfaces?

In both instances, if you are truly honest, it should be something similiar. Because you can really only feel one thing about a person at a time subconsciously."
(my apologies to Gary for infringing his copyright in the work.. by the way, Gary, if you are reading this, perhaps you could enlighten me on what something similar means?)

Perhaps it's just cause I lack the ability to feel, somehow, for most people I know, I can only think about either one good thing, or one bad thing... but not both. Better still, for others, I couldn't even come up with anything!

Interestingly too, for the real handful whom I could come up with a good and a bad.. the things are not exactly similar either.. and it couldn't be my consciousness coming into play either.. esp since both thoughts just popped up immediately..

Even more interesting.. this test seems more apt for figuring out which of the people around you mean more to you.. Somehow, it does say something when certain names just pop up immediately as you read through.. at least one name did..

Coincidentally, read that after I had a dream the night before. Was hit upon the realisation that that certain person had joined a cult, which accounted for the person being a totally different one from what I knew. And the feeling of a close friend lost hurt.. Can still vividly remember myself crying and crying in the dream..

Weird dream isn't it? Do hope that this is not a sign of a greater deterioration of a once close friendship. The last time I had an equal weird dream about the same friend, almost immediately after, we became drastically less close..

Time to keep my fingers crossed on this.. and also for my exam results..

Growing up

What does growing up mean?

That one's temperament has toned down? That the surrounding changes occur so fast that one can hardly be surprised? That a person starts to conform even more?

Perhaps that's why Mr Ling comes across as a really calm, nice-person figure...

So, have I grown up?

Judging from some of my previous entries, I'm still capable of my extremist temperament.. Awfully upset over what I think is unfair and absolutely happy over some really minor things.

When someone irritated me at work yesterday, was quite surprised that i didn't even boil inside.. could even continue to give frozen smiles to everyone, even though i'm no longer as truly cheery.. yet, i'm sure none could have noticed the difference either..

Hypocrite.. what an apt description that Gary used..

Throughout life, almost everyone has shown a different side of themselves to others.. not necessary to conform, but sometimes, to build up a fortress to protect the vulnerable us.. when the going gets tiring, we just break down in front of a small selected group..

wonder which is worse.. crumbling under pressure? or being extreme and subjected to being hurt?

Interestingly, Potato and I touched upon this topic whilst chatting sometime last week..

Perhaps I did grow up too quickly in the past, such that I don't seem to grow up now, when everyone else seems to be. Perhaps I'm just trying to reverse my growth.. Or better still, did anyone actually think that perhaps I just like the feeling of being younger, and being at the receiving end of the care and concern? Hmm...