Thanking my lucky stars

Can't exactly remember clearly what I was told, but it was something along the lines of me being lucky to have such wonderful friends.

Indeed.

Fallen umpteen times. Yet, throughout life's race, I've been pulled along by more than a few hands. Somehow though, I seem to be such a brat, taking these helping hands for granted, and never voicing my true gratitude for the naggings, but instead, just brushing them off..

Actually, I really do love these naggings.. Ok, not in the sense that I love being nagged at for the sake of it.. but more of the fact that, it really feels good to have the feeling that someone else cares enough to nag.. Just that, I guess sometimes I'm just uncomfortable showing my gratitude.. and so, attempt to cover it up by being bochap.. But I do remember them...

Tingting, Derrick, Jo, Gary, Calvin, Alvin, Janet, Guoxing, JianPing.. Thanks for your words of comfort today, when I simply felt super down and lost.. Yet, at the same time, I realised the responses that I got wasn't what I had actually expected..

In any case, don't worry, I'm fine. Just as I get upset in a split second, I recover equally fast too..

In a way, despite all my mean-ess.. I'm quite thankful to have Adrian around too.. All the brainless chatting helped drive away the gloom more quickly too.. Hey, thanks a lot!

Incoherence

Hate that idiotic gal.. the cause of me feeling super frustrated.. and now, I'm thinking of not extending my attachment.. think I need a break from all this...

Realised I'm more and more irresponsible.. but at the same time, have the 'can't-be-bothered' attitude. Got a supposed harsh email from a social worker when I emailed her to tell her I cannot make it for the training after all.. yet, I just feel too tired to feel anything.. in the first place, if they had been more efficient, then things might have turned out different, right? Had to turn away quite a number of volunteers? I wonder if that's so true.. in any case, I realised that I won't be doing much voluntary work in the near future..

i guess i've learnt that doing good deeds/ being nice simply doesn't bring about better rewards.. instead, you could just get yourself into some unfair situation..

realised i've changed a lot... changed for a worse me... i guess it's through the things i see and experience, that made me more and more emotionless.. when i was younger, it was merely the fact that there wasn't anything that i truly particularly like.. then it progressed to the point where i am finally able to be more detached...

someday, hopefully, i'll attain the level of a robot.. Hmm...

*few minutes later*
read my nus email add, and realised another gal i can't stand has just sent an email that i know has something to do with me.. just feel super tired.. can't expect me to call people in the midst of the night, right? if yours truly is free enough to give me missed calls, and send me sms to call you back, perhaps you could call someone else and let the person pass on the message? I have a life too, you know?

i need a break.. i need a break... I NEED A BREAK AWAY FROM EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!