ReVeRiEz on cOnFiDaNtEs..

Somehow the spelling looks weird, but in any case, what matters is that I understand what I'm typing right?

Whilst typing this entry I'm actually chatting with a friend on a separate window. This kind of night, this kind of weather coupled with being able to chat with a trusted friend, or rather confiding in the friend and letting out some pent-up stress within... it just feels very comfortable and relaxing.. so much so that I don't want to sleep at all

Can't help but be reminded of Itak and for that matter, Darmaji.. It's been years since I chatted with them on the phone or through sms through the night.. In fact, I think they're the only ones whom I've actually used a phone to chat with in the wee hours of the morning, in the dark study room, hidden somewhere amongst my tables.. or if it's sms... I'll be lying on my pillow and smsing away..

And whilst typing this, my runaway imagination is beginning to dream of sitting back to back with a close friend and just talk...... just like JC days perhaps...

I love the night... cause it makes the insecure me most secure.. especially with the cool weather... (but don't ask me why much as I love the night, I'm also scared of the night... I'm just plain contradictory huh?)

How much do I trust people? I really don't know.. Still remembered Kok Sing and his naggy backlash theory. Why do I feel more comfortable talking about my thoughts when I don't see the other party? And even so, why do I still not type/write everything? Hmm..

Still.. the feeling tonight is just very comfortable. something I haven't felt in a long long long time.. Perhaps I'll just savour and quit analysing yahz?

And of course, considering that I still don't feel comfortable showing emotions to people.. Thank you, the unfortunate friend whom I've been chatting with.. it really feels very dreamily nice today.. truly.. =)

ReVeRiEz on A mIxEd pLeThOrA oF tHiNgS

Somehow, my titles are getting lamer and lamer. Sooner or later, I'll be forced to abandon my theme (in case no one has ever noticed, it's 'ReVeRiEz on -----')

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CDR today.

It's high time I put a stop to my paranoid nature. It's just a 10-15 minutes CDR and there wasn't much to prepare. So why on earth did I turn cold at the thought of it? And it's not the first time this week either. On Monday, I freaked myself out too, at the thought of temp-ing as an admin staff in Legal. It's not like I've never worked there before. Besides it was just a 3 day temp job! What's wrong with me??

Anyway, CDR was... fun? Not much was done today. It was more of a mini lecture on how a CDR is carried out, with us taking a minor role in the simulated programme today. I love the part about refusing to budge from a particular position and telling the judge that one had tried hard at persuading the client before getting to that figure. Mental note: must be more firm!

Not that I would have much chance to do that either. I don't even know where I will be, what I will be doing this time next year. Except that I won't be staying on after pupillage, that is. No matter how I've tried, I just can't get rid of the feeling that I am leeching on them, and my pupil master just because of Income. I didn't get in on my own accord, and that makes me feel inferior, even to a certain Mr Sunil. A case of thinking to much, right? Much as I truly absolutely admire my pupil master, I really do not want to be a burdensome leech. Then again, what I think now may not be what the situation is then. Just like me not wanting to do pupillage at Rodyk because of Income, yet after everything, I'm back at square 1 again. Hmm...

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The two days temp (at least for now) were quite fine actually. Once again, it was just paranoid me thinking too much and freaking myself out on Monday. Still don't understand why Vincent wanted an extra staff just because Han was on leave. I mean, it's not like they really needed another admin stuff other than Irene. A mental count of the amount of admin work done in 2 days came up to less than 10 tasks, each being less than 5 minutes (or somewhere around there). The rest of the time was spent doing legal stuff for Vincent. And he already has 3 interns (and he's the mentor of one of the interns)!! But the presence of interns do stress me out a bit. Somehow, I think they're brilliant (even the two Temasek poly gals) and Christina is even better. I feel quite dumb now, and I'm supposed to be their scholar right? Sigh.. who ever has heard of a dumb scholar??

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Ok, I really really can't help not typing this. Dip Sing guys are so nice!!!! Okiez, enough of the emphasis, but they really ARE very nice, as compared to so many other guys I know. Was in the lift today when my Plaintiff mentioned that he preferred Suntec to Raffles Place, and I merely 'complained' that I preferred Raffles Place instead, simply because I didn't have to walk through such longer distance. And then, my Plaintiff (okiez.. I think I need to stop calling my Plaintiff as Plaintiff.. haah) simply offered to give me a lift to the station!! Nice right? Just like the other day when Yinghuan, Rongxuan and I needed to get to Supreme court and couldn't get a cab. I started walking back towards Subcourts, hoping that there might be some empty ones there else we would be late! Then, I saw Kum Fu (correct spelling? Hmm... ) walking out of Subordinate Courts and since he's in the same tutorial class, which meant we were equally unlucky to be down for the dumb Legal Technology Workshop (which should be more aptly renamed as Hard Sale of Legal Tech Session), I merely asked if he wanted to go with us. And he simply replied that he has a car and offerred a lift!

okiez.. in my mum's words, I'm so easily pleased.. but still, I don't really see such behaviour in the guys I know, really! I'll be glad if I didn't have to play big sister to some, or tolerate some others' behaviour.. Wonder if it's just me, or in another friend's words 'What did NUS do to the guys?' Hmm....

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And finally, had a weird dream this afternoon. Okiez, I shall correct that a little. The dream was not weird per se, but the rational analysis of why I had the dream made it weird. For one, one main character in my dream was someone I had not been in contact with in a long long while. And it's the 2nd time in a matter of one month, I supposed, that this person appeared in my dream. Weird right? Haha, but even when I'm asleep, I'm still partially alert. There was one scene when my sis told me the person was in the Police force, and my first reaction, at least in the dream was, this person took up a Navy scholarship, so why the Police force? Later when I got up, I 'discovered' more discrepancies.. something to the point of the birthday mentioned should not be correct.

And no.. I'm not weird in analysing my dream! It's just that.. I really can't understand why the dream. Hmm...

Wonder if I'll see that senior of mine anytime in future. Irregardlessly (is there such a word? Hmm..) that senior will always be a senior that I look up to..