Things I love

Thanks for arranging dinner this time every year (well, more or less so), my favourite Mr Tan! =) Dinner with you and my dearest Mr Chan is always one of the best-est thing I can get on this day! =)

Eh.. see lah.. Why did you move?
Now I don't have a photo of my favourite Mr Tan =(

Oh yes, and thanks for the chicken all the way from Japan, Mr Tan!!

No.. you guys are not allowed to barbeque, deep fry etc etc it! Stop being mean!!! Grrr.. Anyway, it's now sitting happily in my room now watching over my messy table.. Haha..

快乐是。。。

能在一位认识十年的好友的生日卡上随意写上这十年来的感想，能与认识十年的好友吃晚餐以提早庆祝他的生日。。

******

Dear Mr Chai,

When you smsed to postpone our dinner to a slightly later time yesterday, I was a little torn between given you the option to cancel the dinner so that you wouldn't have to rush and not giving you that option so that I can meet you before the 17th. Maybe I'm just sticky, but without letting you know in advance, I had wanted it to be your pre-birthday celebration, not a post one. Not when it's been exactly 10 years since this particular tall guy in a light green uniform extended his hand and intro-ed himself at S29's first recess as a class. Still, I was really super duper happy that you did managed to make it after all, without me (selfishly) not extending the option of cancelling dinner.

After so many years of no longer writing postcards/letters and the many many post-it notes, I didn't think it was so much of a breeze to really put down what I wanted to say in the card. From our common GP classes to our 101 cold wars, 斗嘴-ing sessions (seriously, I think I learnt to argue only then.. haha.. your fault!)... to your self-coined "banana skin incident"... to revising for A levels together.. to disfiguring me with the netball.. to almost cracking my skull with the rugby ball.. to you throwing that major tantrum in CO and me getting pissed off later during the camp.. to you and your silly "it's ok that you didn't do well this time, you're not applying for scholarships anyway" words of comfort (which was of course the reason why I started a cold war with you again.. eh.. I'm not sure about you but these words are not comforting, can?).. all of these are part of the growing up memories that I cherish, even if throughout these years, I've never really said it, or in your words previously, I really didn't know how to keep my friends. Come to think of it, for someone who hated people sticking to her, you were the only friend whom I was practically with most of the time without me running away after a while. Haha.. must be because you were too fierce, esp since the Physics file incident.. Haha

Whatever the case, for the last of my VVVIPs series to have your birthday this year, and for being one of my sturdiest pillars of strength in JC together with GK.. thank you, Mr Chai Kian Ping.. for pushing me hard enough in school, for splashing cold water on me unknown times.. for being horrendously frank about me needing to lose weight or me being a girl yet still being ultra messy.. most importantly, thank you for shining the beacon of light of friendship even when you kept (annoyingly) insisting that it's hard to make friends beyond secondary school and accepting/accomodating the troublesome and weird me as your close friend back in JC.

Happy birthday, JianPing! =)

And yes... congrats tooo!!! I'm looking forward to playing with your son... not attending his wedding the 1st time I meet him, yah?

Yours sincerely,

The adorable 6-year old

PS: Mr Chai, please don't use the same method you used to teach me cycling on your son. Granted he'll not get injured, but seriously, it'll take forever for him to learn how to ride the bicyle that way!

Thank you, Mr Tay!!!

很想给你写封信
告诉你这里的天气
昨夜的那一场电影
还有我的心情
很想给你写封信
却只是想想而已
我已经不能肯定
你是不是还会关心

(Disclaimer: Whilst the song does not has absolutely no relation to this entry, I thought this paragraph suitably links to the first few paras below..)

A few weeks ago, whilst the study was being spring cleaned, I chanced upon my memory box and opened the "pandora box". Not that I really needed to re-read them. The postcards / letters that meant something to me, I'd probably have already memorised the contents by heart. Staring at the various handwritings, it felt as though I had momentarily time-travelled back to the full grey uniform era, where life revolved round surviving one round after another of common tests and exams. And I missed the letters from that "bygone era" and mostly the feeling of being around those people back then.

It's been 10 years. I've almost forgotten how some of us were like back then. Had the momentary impulse to write a long X'mas card to each of my frequent postcards/letters/post-it notes senders/receipients. What would your response be? Will I hear from anyone?

Perhaps despite trying to harden myself and grow up over the years, a part of me refused to go with the flow and hid itself, so that I could revert back to that kid whenever I am in the company of the VVVIPs. Perhaps that was why Caroline said I need to act more matured, in a manner befitting my profession. But then, it's really because I am comfortable around certain people, that's why I could let my guard down and let the tried-to-hide hidden part surface.

Actually, meeting up with Honghui several Saturdays ago made me realise, there may be more friends you pick up along the way and maybe feel comfortable with but not all can trigger the happy button within you just by their presence.

When I asked for a mug this year, I really meant any kind of mug, even if, as Gek Koon said, a cheap mug from some Sweddish store. Just like what I've said to Gilson before, I'm the easiest and hardest to get anything for, depending on your importance to me. To you, it may just be a normal, not good looking mug. To me, having a mug from one of my VVVIP friends in my office is a source of comfort when things get down and a reminder that I need to strive harder, to shine more brilliantly so that no matter where any of you are, you can still be proud enough to say "eh.. that's my friend!".

But then, like I said, it doesn't matter what you got for me. Cos I still LOVE the soft toy you bought this time round! And yes, it's effective in calming me down when I hug it and lean against it.. And yes, I don't throw soft toys to test whether they're breakable. Grrr... Seriously, did you realise you've been giving me a soft toy each year? Haha..

But like I said, my favourite present from you is still our meeting up. Despite my 嘴硬-ness about avoiding people in December, I still relish the non-sms conversations and/or simply the real-life presence of those important ones. And yes, that includes the other person whom I've not really chatted with in a significantly long while and whom I was chatting with on Friday night. Yes, stop looking around, that's you, Mr Tan. =)

Choosing to Learn to be Happy

Initially, I thought my bout of feeling high at work last afternoon was a result of me feeling bitchy. After some reflection on my way to the train station last night, I realised it's probably more due to my enjoyable lunch with my cousin, and the ongoing chat with one of my closest ECSF friend.

Frankly, I'm still amused at how Tianfa and I almost never spoke to each other at all for almost 22+ years, but after that one lunch during my pupillage, he's now the perhaps only cousin I'm more comfortable talking to, and together with her sis, the cousins I much prefer. Things work in interesting ways. Just like how Honghui was never someone I would talk to in NJCO (well, unless you count asking him to help carry the heavy instruments) yet for some strange reason which I can't recall, we started keeping in touch when we were in uni and now he counts for one of the more important friends. In fact, I enjoyed the movie Gokusen a lot more (ok, it's a genre that I like in the first place) thanks to my companion. Yes, I may still behave like the person 5 years ago, but that's because I feel comfortable and relax enough to teleport myself back to being myself. After being a porcupine for quite some time, the best way to recharge, imho, is simply feeling safe enough to be yourself once again.

Which brings me to my title this morning. It's actually a translation of what the monk presiding over MeiFong's wedding on Sunday said at the end of the ceremony. Troubled feeling and the feeling of happiness are feelings. You learn to be happy and you learn to be troubled. So you might as well learn to be happy. How true. Which (thankfully) made me curb my bitchiness and not attempt to devout an entry of snide remarks to some other website I saw.

Speaking of which, yes, last Sunday must have been a really auspicious day. Attended my cousin's wedding in the day, and Jac's wedding dinner at night. And I had to skip Teck Yeow's wedding dinner. Still, at least I had time to drop by ECSF last week to give Teck Yeow his red packet, and at the same time, see a lot of my ex-colleagues (do they count? Hmmm) there. It may be almost a year since GLC moved out, but ECSF still feels very much "home". Haha.. I guess the only not-too-pleasing episode was the follow-up after that, but, whatever it is, it doesn't matter anymore. I'm still as happy for Kok Sing (but yah, you do not have to invite me to your housewarming.. haha.. I'm still stubborn) and yes, I'll still be waiting for the best kind of birthday present from you in a few days time.. ie. your sms..

Back to my cousin's wedding. Has anyone ever attended a solemnisation in a temple? I was really pondering hard what it would be like and when I finally witnessed it, it feels a lot more meaningful than some other solemnisation..

And some photos of her brother, who was more like a bridesmaid..oops..

Unfortunately though, my sis and I were the only ones on my mum's side to turn up for the solemnisation. Thought that was pretty not nice that some people didn't bother to turn up for the solemnisation and/or tea ceremony thereafter without reasonable excuses whatsoever. Oh well, no worries, I wouldn't be turning up for some of yours either and waste my red packets on you.

Anyway, after the solemnisation, Mei Fong had her tea ceremony at her place. Seriously, this was the first time I've seen her flat.

And finally, the group photo:

Congrats, cousin!! May you have a blissful marriage!! =)Who says nice people finish last? In fact, if that were true, I wouldn't be able to witness your wedding... nor Jac's wedding!!

Yes, I'm being bitchy but seriously, if certain things happen (or don't happen), perhaps one should just reflect upon themselves instead of making hilarious conclusions. If I actually apply that reasoning, does that mean that LiJia, for example, is not nice? (Oops.. sorry Lijia, I just randomly thought of your name when I was thinking of a blissfully attached friend) What crap.. I would say that those attention seeking, whine-y ones who do not know what sincere apology is are less deserving than all the happy friends I can think of. Oops.. I didn't manage to curb my bitchiness afterall. Which explains why I'm not attached. Cause I admit I'm not nice! Haha..

Anyway, interestingly, when I was doing research on red packets and weddings, one of the search results directed me to a friend's blog. Egeus!! I almost forgot to congratulate you too! I must say, your home deco is nice!! So will I get to see baby photos on your blog this time next year? :p

Speaking of babies, I wonder if Angel has given birth to their daughter.. There seems no updates on Itak and Angel's facebook, which weirdly is making me worried.. Do hope all is well for both of you! Hmm..