Lawyers have no friends?

That was what Stella concluded when we were trying to coordinate our lunch time for our meet-up at our favourite Taiwan porridge. Somehow, it becomes harder and harder for us to meet up as a group now that all of us are in different firms and have different schedules. No wonder Nicc agreed with Stella's comments almost immediately. Which brings to mind how I should thank my lucky stars for my dearest friends (annoyingly, some copycat seemed to have started using the phrase as well) who still tolerate my schedule and not leave me out altogether after being flown kite by me 101 times.. Sadly though, now that I've more of my life than the past year or so, I'm beginning to miss having dinners with friends like Weiguang etc.. How on earth did we meet up more often then for dinner? Hmm.. whatever the case, thanks for not giving up on me even when a whole lot of you probably know my office quite well and have at some time or other eaten with me in my room at GLC. Whatever will I do without you guys? Hmm..

Even putting aside how I was hardly ever able to meet up (save for the dinners in my office), I still admire my friends' ability to tolerate my blow-hot-blow-cold behaviour. 10 years ago, one of my closest friends was exasperated at how unpredictable I could get - one moment we were seemingly close friends and the next, I was horrendously withdrawn. The closer I am to a person, the more I would worry that I was becoming over-reliant on the person and the insecure me would simply swing to the other extreme quickly so that no one would realise my over-reliance. Fast forward 10 years, my insecurity is still ensuring that this peculiar trait remains rooted. In fact, whilst typing this, I'm still wondering if I annoyed another friend with my hot-cold behaviour again. If so, I'm really sorry. I'll try to make a conscious effort to keep that in check, though knowing me, it'll work only for a short while. So if any one finds my behaviour unbecoming, please don't hesitate to remind me, k?

Fate

How often do we hear how something occurring at the wrong moment just becomes wrong?

Uncle smsed me to say that the fat smelly one is leaving. Yet, Weiguang was absolutely right when he said I'm not fated to go back to GLC. If this had happened when I was still at my nightmare place, I would probably have jumped at the offer to go back, to the firm w/o the silly fat smelly one. But too bad, I'm happy where I am now, and I've no intention of leaving nice bosses as yet.

I wonder which unlucky/silly place is taking him in though..Hmm..

On another note, I'm pretty happy this evening. Now if only I can get that plan typed out asap..

Reflection...

It's been a month and 19 days (to be exact) since I moved to my new home. At first, I chose to be vague, not wanting certain people I hated to know, now that I've happily settled in and spring cleaned some parts of my life, I can happily announce.. Yes, I've resigned *again* and am happily settled in my new home and loving every bit of it. (Just imagine, which bosses would allow the firm to close at 3pm so that everyone can go off for our KTV session and dinner?)

my new "home"

It takes certain episodes for a person to wake up, and I'm glad that the 5 months of nightmare did that, to a certain extent. More or less gone are the "excesses", people I should have gotten rid of long ago but never successfully did. But when someone you had a hard time relinquishing as friend tells you that you're weird when you were ultra depressed / nervous even though he was and still is way more tolerant to some others' whines, it is like pouring ice water on a drunkard.. you wake up to the reality that you do not need such people... at least not as your friend. This time round, I'm not upset. In fact, if necessary, I can now happily point you out as someone from my class for a really short period long time ago. And you'll always remain as an acquaintance who was once really sweet.

Of course, clearing excess baggage also meant throwing away a person I hate very much who somehow though still randomly "guest-starred" in my life.. Afterall, there is no longer a need for me to be nice to the person to protect another person. I hated you for using female-ish ways to allow yourself to get "protected" by people who meant something to me. I even once doubted myself cause of you. But not anymore. You can win everything. All those whom you consciously/subconsciously wanted to snatch away, but let me tell you this.. The ones who're on your side, they don't mean anything to me. The gems of my life? I'll never intro them to you, cause they're way too precious to me for me to cede them to you. That said, Weiguang, thanks for your vote of confidence when I really needed it.

Not too long ago, a hairstylist (ok, I know strictly speaking he's not one yet but I believe it's just a matter of time) actually commented how being easygoing also means I'll be taken for granted easily. Perhaps so. Unfortunately for my newest personal trainer, I chose to subconciously keep that comment in mind. Still, I must say that changing trainers was a move I don't regret. He's way more professional and knowledgeable, training wise or current affairs etc. To a certain extent, he reminds me a little of Keith, except he's a lot more enthusiastic.. Let's hope things remain this way..

In case anyone thinks this is a whine-y post (esp Gary.. You know, I really made a conscious effort to whine less ever since you commented I whine too much, though I don't know if I've really improved) it's not meant to be. One truly moves on only when one is able to talk about a matter in a matter-of-fact manner, and I'm really all ready to move on to be back to the cheerful me I once was, so that I can be a worthy friend to the gems of my life, so that friends like Koon, Honghui etc will not have to check on me now and then..

Besides, I did gain something out of that nightmare too. It's rare to have a clique when you're at work, and I had one. The long lunches, tea at our Taiwan porridge, Cedele etc.. Our "conferences" and even Nicc's farewell in the toilet..all these would remain the happiest memories in the midst of all our gloom and I'm glad our friendship still extended past our shared misery there.

PS: Besides my friends, my GLC colleagues were a great source of comfort during that period of nightmare too and were always one sms away. Eg Maan always had encouraging words. Or Gilson, who was the receiving end of a whole lot of my depressed smses, and never once told me off for it. =)

Irrational? Perhaps

Renci saga as more or less come to a conclusion. Unlike during the NKF circus, I still choose to believe that is not as guilty as the previous group of circus animals. At least he didn't just stood by waiting for artistes to risk their lives to get more money for him. At least he "played with his life" to raise funds for his charity. At least he had the guts to admit he was a modern monk when the public saw him at restaurants. At least he didn't go round suing people for defamation when the facts were in actual fact true..

Whatever the case, he may have done wrong, but there were things that he did right. For that, I seriously hope that he doesn't get a jail term.

******

On another note,even though I've never watched Dollah Kassim play in any of the match, it doesn't make me any less keen on carrying out a search on yahoo these past few days to see if there are any updates. Whatever the case, I hope he gets up really really soon, and prove that he did not suffer any / much of brain damage. Get well soon!