Contradictory

Ever had the experience that you didn't really want something that badly, yet when you get a negative response, you still had this niggling weird feeling?

Humans are such contradictory creatures. If you had wanted something, and then you didn't get it, granted, you would feel upset. Yet, it's interesting how one actually has this uncomfortable feeling too when one didn't put in any effort to apply for something, couldn't be bothered and then gets a rejection call. Perhaps it's just ego deflating.. 

Serenity missed..

Someone should tell our government that there's one weak link in their pro-family campaign. Make sure that single ie. unmarried young lawyers are not allowed to do divorce cases.. Just imagine hearing all the unhappy marriages, and of course, the 'helpful' clients who tell you never ever to get married..

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Something interesting in the news today.. Those who know me since jc would probably have greater idea about why I'm so interested in today's LianHe ZaoBao, as well as the New Paper (by the way, I didn't get the latter, so if any kind soul out that has it.. perhaps, you would like to present it to me? No.. I don't need the entire paper.. merely 2 pages..)

Time flies. Can't believe it's been 4 years already. Nevertheless, it's always wonderful to see nice stuff happening to people you know.. I mean, it's always nice to see them living a smooth-sailing life.. 

By the way, even though I love hearing that people I admire are in the papers, I do not think anyone enjoys the suspense at being told some things but not others.. it's kind of irritating, by the way..

Cebu trip gathering..

Just got back from my dinner with Cebu trip people.. Now that we've started counting.. it's been 5 years since our trip.. and about 3 years since we've all seen each other..

Meisi, Martin, Shamini, Carole.. kind of sad that they didn't make it in the end, but nonetheless, seeing Huihui, Lizhen, Jini, Adrian, Sijie and Guoxing was great too.. interestingly, Sharon Phua's name seemed to pop up now and then.. in fact, her name was even more memorable than Mr Tan's! Haha.. it just proves that in order to be remembered, you've got to be really really notorious =)

Somehow, this is one of the first gathering where I really really felt very happy just seeing/talking to the people.. and then still have that cheery feeling lingering by the time I'm home.. Not that we have that much in common.. Each of us are now doing our own stuff.. Huihui, Lizhen working at PWC, Jini waiting for her results.. Sijie the piano teacher... etc.. but somehow with the craps and stuff.. everything just felt the same... as if we were transported back in time..

Sometimes, it's not what we are doing that matters, but how much effort we put into something..

Come to think of it.. Cebu was really one of my best memories of jc life..

Reveriez reverie-ing
 
Argh! It must have been years since I've typed an entry, so much so that the earlier post that I typed turned out blank! But well, it does proves my earlier unpublished point on how things not remaining stagnant in time.
 
Memory is such an interesting thing.. Why do we all have indelible memory or better still, not have forgettory instead? Why do people actually think that happy memories are cherished ones, and sad memories are best forgotten? Sadly, happy memories are sometimes the culprit leading to a person's downfall. Just because the current happenings pale in comparison with those happy memories, some tend to be totally absorbed in them, neglecting the more important NOW.. Of course, these treasured memories can't be totally faulted either.. They are equally capable of bringing some warmth into rainy cold days too..
 
Cliche as it sounds, time does fly.. It's been a year since the last Racial Harmony Day came and left.. When I came across the entry in a friend's blog, somehow, I could clearly remember the classes I took that day last year, and even some of the clothes donned by them. And it's already been a year.. A blurry one in fact.. Interestingly, I do miss them a bit every now and then still...
 
And yes, SMP training yesterday. For some unknown reason, I was just totally drained at the end of it.. I can't say the 3 social workers did not make any effort.. In fact they did. The newspapers balls were really well made, as compared to the ones Victor used then. In fact, they remained perfectly in shape after our numerous bad aiming. Yet, at the same time, the training was all so familiar.. I could even predict what they would do next for the games, yes.. that was how similar it was..
 
Would I make a better mentor this time round? I really don't know. In fact, I can still remember blurly the messiness of our first session then.. Haven't heard from Iffah in years.. Nurul, well she called.. but I haven't been able to get her since..
 
Camp next week... but I really feel drained already..

contradiction
2 tests from the same website with almost opposing results..

Somehow, I think the angry soul one is realy quite accurate though..

Congrats! Your a Pure Angel! Angels, as far as most of them go, are all compatabile creatures, but Pure ones simply are symbols of God. Pure Angels always appear when a child is born, when a rainbow is seen, or when someone shares their first kiss. They never grow old, an can appear in the shape of a naked woman with white, bold wings. Pure angels are the carriers of god, and
show their love to everyone in the world.

You have an angry soul! Angry Souls arent always angry, but they cannot easily forgive and hold grudges. You probably often get in fights with your friends and family, and its difficult for you to understand. When someone makes a mistake, you don't let go easily and hold on to those memories. Your very stubborn and your rage is known to everyone. Though you never actually mean it, you can say mean things in a fight and go over board. Many people are sometimes intimidated by your anger. But you have many redeeming qualities and those are that you are quite intelligent and smart. You would make a good businesswoman or lawyer because you know how to prove your point. You cherish the ones around you, and appreciate life, even though you can complain or throw a tantrum now and then. The good things is, you keep your emotions very outspoken, and are normally a very happy person because all your rage is let on the outside. Anger is simply a state, but you, yourself as a person, are great.

RGCO concert
Never thought a concert that I wasn't exactly super keen on going could invoke such strong lingering emotions in me..

How long ago was it when I was there, one of the green monsters as kor would call me, absorbing the excitement, irritation etc.. All those feelings of being forced to appear for practices, rehearsals.. the numerous grumblings.. and the final elation at the end of everything..

Saw a junior up on stage.. Was already sec 4 when she joined.. Unlike all the rest, I did not take part in initiating her into erhu section.. but seeing her today, couldn't help but think.. she was a total newbie then.. and now, she's so much more an accomplished player than me..

not that I was awfully upset.. in fact, i just felt numb.. almost like i wanted to, yet couldn't feel a thing.. and it didn't exactly help meeting Daphne and Jamie.. a future successful doctor.. and another who's just informed me that she'll be doing her pupillage at Khattar Wong..

Somehow, this pupillage thing IS getting to me.. can't believe my guts when I actually typed out what I truly thought to Mingyi.. of course, I lied at the end so as not to seem so awfully rude and mean, but in case you are wondering, yes Mingyi, like what you said, it's really totally true that I cannot work with the current Mingyi. Actually, I would prefer it even more if you would just leave me alone and NOT pretend to be so knowing.. in case you haven't noticed, i'm merely 2 years YOUNGER than you, but that does not mean I'm not capable of sorting and deciding my own life without your interference. I'm totally entitled to do whatever i WANT to do, without you commanding me to.. In any case, only those whom i treat as my closer friends are ENTITLED to poke their noses into my affairs.. and I'm quite sure the person you are right now is nowhere near to gaining that right, now, or anytime soon.. so please wait till you are somewhere near that before you meddle in MY affairs.. so for goodness sake, LIN MINGYI can you please LEAVE ME ALONE and keep your mouth shut unless you have better stuff to say?

One week of slacking...

Just recieved the cheque from Rodyk.. it's more than what I thought.. =)

Wasn't in a good mood earlier today.. came online twice to see if certain people were online.. did see one out of the list.. but in the end still didn't feel like talking.. hmm...

Pupillage application next week.. hmm...