Letters to some friends

Letters are sometimes the best way to get a point across, especially when there are certain things that you don't feel comfortable saying directly, or when you don't have direct access to the other party. The good thing about blogs is, you can just leave what you want to say to the person, and the person will just read it as and when he/she is able to...

_______________________________________________________________

Dear --- (name omitted to keep identity confidential),

Despite all the positive smses and msn messages, are you sure you are ok? Cause my gut feel tells me that you are just hiding your hurt, but I don't know whether my incessant probing will just worsen the wound, and so, I chose not to until you choose to tell me otherwise.

Still, I'm really glad you trusted me sufficient to sms on Saturday.

However, one sentence left a deep impression, which perhaps, was what sparked off this letter. "I'm sorry, you've been so supportive towards me but I did not listen to your advice." I hope you don't mind me putting up this sentence. You know what? Even if it sounds kind of impolite, I still want to say, "---, stop being silly!"

You see, I never expected you to follow every single thing that I said. That wouldn't be advice, but rather a command. And it wouldn't be from a friend either. For friends are just like supporting pillars, they are there for you to lean on when you need, but they'll not hold a grudge against you should you not listen to them and decide to lean against a decaying tree trunk and later hurt yourself. Even if you do hurt yourself time and again, your friend will still be willing to stretch out a hand and help you stand up again, so long as you are willing to reach out to grab the hand.

Remember what I've told you in one of my smses on Thursday? So long as you know what you are doing, I'll always be there to lend you my moral support. And so long as you need me, I'm always an sms/a phone call away, even if it's some ungodly hours in the morning.

So no more doing silly things like apologising cause you don't have to (Well, unless I tell you specifically so, then that's another story)

On another note, perhaps my words may not count as much as the person who sent you that sms, but still, do not take to heart whatever that sms said. For one thing, I am very sure that you are neither annoying nor unlikeable. Take care, k? Cause I still want to meet up with you and no, I do not want to eat grass! =p

Luv
Yaofang (--> Suddenly remembered the nick I used to use. Can still remember?)

_________________________________________________________________

Dear --- (name once again omitted to keep identity secret),

Even though you don't really mention it, from your blog, I know that you are sometimes still lost after the one supposedly wrong decision that you've made.

Still, after all these years, it's time for you to let go of that regret, and move on in the direction that you think you want to go. You see, no one in the world is perfect. Each of us make wrong moves at one point or another. The wrong move may have caused you a year, but without that supposedly wrong move, a lot of things may now be different. Perhaps you may not be as grateful for the lecturers, friends, and mentors you have now.

Just take me for example. You know that I regretted the decision I made 6 years ago really badly. In fact, there were so many times this year when I was on the verge of breaking down, or even broke down when no one was noticing. Still, if you asked me if things might have been better without that decision, I know I can never say for sure. Without that, would I have done my pupillage in Rodyk? Maybe not, but then again, who knows? One thing for sure though, I'm quite confident I would not have had Christopher as the pupil master whom I, up till now, still respect. It's just the same as, would Siang Pheng have taken notice of this insignificant pupil? Or would Terence be less of the nice big brother and more of the 'tyrant' as the other pupils have described? I wouldn't know. All these are just the same as the RJC/NJC situation. It may have been 'earth-shattering' to have had to switch schools after 3 months, especially for a sentimental person like me. But given the choice now, I wouldn't mind going through that bit of heartache either.

Just like what Kum Fu said in his sms early this year when I was utterly upset with that bitch who took 2 years to reply my email, just move on!

There are many other things around you that you should grasp hold of. You said you have a great mentor, so you ought to take the opportunity to excel! There's no point in saying a lot, wishing a lot, but not getting down to doing it, right? It's just like you've said Leslie Loo and the others are very nice, so what should you do? Work hard to prove to them that you are really as good as you appear to be!

Good luck! =)

Luv
Non-guiny!

______________________________________________________________

Dear Itak,

It's been a week since you've started your new job. How has it been?

Just wanted to say, "Happy 25th Birthday!"

Even if I've said it a million and one times, thank you for being amongst the handful of friends that I trust most and can lean on most often. As I was walking past Peninsula Plaza just now, I was suddenly reminded of you and Darmaji again, and how the two of you would always inevitably be outside that VCD shop watching whatever that's shown, during our breaks. Those were one of the happiest times after I've completed jc. Funny enough, my impression of Darmaji would always be how he made used of my soft toy duck to make me smile when I was feeling down on my last day of work at Power Supply. And you? It was how, on that very same day, you started 'biting' the computer cables to remind us that it was dinner time and that you were hungry. The two of you together were always able to make me smile.

Xie xie, Itak da ge! For all the smiles, and more importantly, for ALWAYS believing in and letting your spoilt brat xiao mei here have her way.

Happy Birthday!

luv
Xiaomei

PS: I hope you liked the present! =)

Lunch/Dinner Appointments that Make a Difference

Was telling a colleague today about how thrilled I'll always be to meet up with my friends.

Despite all that unfounded fears of the return of my manager, things weren't that bad really. And as the day progressed (at least towards mid day), it got better and better. Why? Cause I was supposed to be meeting Wei Shin for lunch!

For obvious reasons, Wei Shin reminds me of Rodyk litigation. About the few times when I was cheered up after my chats in his triangular shaped room. About the time he brought me to court (was that my last time stepping into sub courts as a pupil? Or was the last time with my pupil master?)

Can still remember how thrilled I was when he remembered to bring me to the sub courts. Unlike that stupid JiaRen (Yeek.. What an awful name!) who was scheduled to bring me for don't know how many times, but never once did. Idiot (--> this, by the way, is different from the endearing term that I always use for my dear friends, cause when used on Kia Jeng, it's just a description of disgust). I can still remember that email that I sent when I first heard Wei Shin was leaving, where I ended off with the question "Are you going for CDR on Wednesday?" Wei Shin not only said yes, but also added that he remembers that he is supposed to bring me! Yes, and offered to bring me around sub courts if we had the time. Talk about niceness!

Anyway, back to lunch today, it was really really really nice to see Wei Shin again after such a long time! Oh, and I never ever realised that he was from Chinese Orchestra too! I even commented that yangqin players seem to be super err... gentle(?) soft-spoken(?) judging from him as well as his junior, aka, Michael Tang!

But lunch was fun, simply cause the company was great! Like I've said earlier, I just love eating with my friends. It makes working life a lot more interesting!

Just like my dinner with LiJia last Friday too! Who cares if we didn't watch Lei Yu? Somehow Jia reminds me a lot of Meisi, as in, even though we may not see each other very often, but we can just talk and talk and talk non stop for hours, as if distance/time did not make us strangers. Jia, if you do see this, and one of my earliest entries, thanks for always being my friend even after the very short 3 months we spent studying, playing and gossiping (eg. pufferilla, nespray, amongoeth (?? can't remember spelling)). *hugs*