Losing before cherishing...
"He is really dead" Reading and re-reading this line, somehow, even though I didn't know who Mr Ho was, I could still feel his students', past (including my sis) and present, sense of loss..
Sis didn't really said she felt down, yet, from her actions and what she said, I could feel the tinge of sadness, disbelief, shocked. And yes, the glimmer of hope yesterday when the photo wasn't really clear.. all that ended with that line of sms..
People around us, we seem to take for granted that they'll be there.. it's only when incidents happen to others, that one begins to sit up, appreciate them, and after a while.. lose that momentum again..
Just like me.
I guess I would have been devastated if something had happened to anyone I cared about.. The friends whom I instinctively sms-ed some forwarded stuff yesterday.. Funny.. I always thought forwarded sms-es are totally insincere and would have avoided forwarding them.. Yet, at times when I just wanted to let those who matter know that I didn't forget them, forwarded stuff are so much easier.. Just imagine if I typed something personal.. They would have been horrified!
Hate to let others in on my emotions.. As I grow older, I finally realised the wisdom in JianPing's quote from his teachers. At times, I just don't know whether I should just give others the benefit of the doubt or otherwise.. Yet, those whom my 6th sense tell me that cannot be totally trusted, have yet to prove me wrong... and those whom I willingly trusted, some have proved me wrong..
Of course, there are many others who don't belong in those groups too.. Koon, Itak, Jianping, Potato, Honghui.. These are the people who are still able to change a rainy mood to a sunny one just by appearing, whether through sms, icq, or simply just in person.. Yet, I doubt they've ever realised that they've such capabilities.. well, if any of you chance upon this, I really want to say 'thank you' truly.. I guess the front that I put up daily is but a mere front.. without you all, I doubt I'd have ever been where I am today..
And, there are also those friends whom one was really really close to, and then just 'poof', there's this huge wall between you. 'True friends would never want the other to be worse off' True? I don't know. But I know, that once you've treated someone as your very close friend, it's difficult, if not impossible to demote the person to a mere stranger.. esp when they were once my greatest pillars of strength too.. GX, DT.. am I one of their good friends still? I don't know... truly, I wish I do, but I don't...
Yet, I know for sure, if anything were to befall on these friends, my world will DEFINITELY crash...
"He is really dead" Reading and re-reading this line, somehow, even though I didn't know who Mr Ho was, I could still feel his students', past (including my sis) and present, sense of loss..
Sis didn't really said she felt down, yet, from her actions and what she said, I could feel the tinge of sadness, disbelief, shocked. And yes, the glimmer of hope yesterday when the photo wasn't really clear.. all that ended with that line of sms..
People around us, we seem to take for granted that they'll be there.. it's only when incidents happen to others, that one begins to sit up, appreciate them, and after a while.. lose that momentum again..
Just like me.
I guess I would have been devastated if something had happened to anyone I cared about.. The friends whom I instinctively sms-ed some forwarded stuff yesterday.. Funny.. I always thought forwarded sms-es are totally insincere and would have avoided forwarding them.. Yet, at times when I just wanted to let those who matter know that I didn't forget them, forwarded stuff are so much easier.. Just imagine if I typed something personal.. They would have been horrified!
Hate to let others in on my emotions.. As I grow older, I finally realised the wisdom in JianPing's quote from his teachers. At times, I just don't know whether I should just give others the benefit of the doubt or otherwise.. Yet, those whom my 6th sense tell me that cannot be totally trusted, have yet to prove me wrong... and those whom I willingly trusted, some have proved me wrong..
Of course, there are many others who don't belong in those groups too.. Koon, Itak, Jianping, Potato, Honghui.. These are the people who are still able to change a rainy mood to a sunny one just by appearing, whether through sms, icq, or simply just in person.. Yet, I doubt they've ever realised that they've such capabilities.. well, if any of you chance upon this, I really want to say 'thank you' truly.. I guess the front that I put up daily is but a mere front.. without you all, I doubt I'd have ever been where I am today..
And, there are also those friends whom one was really really close to, and then just 'poof', there's this huge wall between you. 'True friends would never want the other to be worse off' True? I don't know. But I know, that once you've treated someone as your very close friend, it's difficult, if not impossible to demote the person to a mere stranger.. esp when they were once my greatest pillars of strength too.. GX, DT.. am I one of their good friends still? I don't know... truly, I wish I do, but I don't...
Yet, I know for sure, if anything were to befall on these friends, my world will DEFINITELY crash...
