I seriously need to do some rewiring of my brain. It's been years since I've received my O level results, but every year, I still feel as if I'm closely connected to the results.
Just like the day I had my O level results, today was peppered with not so good news. First, it was Reichmann who told me about his L1R4 being 14. And then, Iffah smsed me to report her 2 failures in Maths and Humanities.
Even Darryl didn't do as well as I predicted he would. When he told me his L1R5 was 17, my first reaction was just a "huh?". But what's done has already been done. There's no way to change it and like what I've just said to Reichmann, the O level certificate is just another key towards the new field of study. Years down the road, no one is going to bother to ask you how many As you've scored back then. And perhaps that's why I chose not to harp on his results, but to ask about what he plans to do and I'm glad to say, he's still going on to jc, probably CJC. Just that I guess, I just feel super guilty that he didn't do well. It just feels as if I failed as a tutor.
But I must say, Darryl sounded really cute, like a little boy over the phone. Come to think of it, after teaching him for 4 years, this is the first time I've talked to him over the phone. Normally I'll be calling his mum instead.
Somehow or rather, I've been having been reminded quite a bit about a similar period of time approximately 8 years ago. Last Friday when I had dinner with a certain nice Mr Chan (hee.. better type nice here cause he bought me dinner though.. he ought to since he made me work till almost 9pm just to wait for him to knock off! Hmpf..) and his lab friends. That happened to be the chingay full dress rehearsal. This would be the 2nd time I've witnessed the full dress rehearsal, the last time being a day before my O level results were out. Weirdly enough, I can still vaguely feel what I had felt at that point in time.
And today? I can't help but recall that particular Saturday when my right shoulders were soaked with Jo's tears even before it was my turn to get my results, how my tears just started flowing non-stop at the sight of the first line of my results, how I waited for XiaoPing and Wanhui to finish Chinese Orch practice and then trooped off to Far East so that they could comfort me, how I called a then JC classmate to confide about my sadness, how I got home at almost 2pm and had a shelling from my parents because I would be almost late for my piano lessons. Somehow, certain things just stay in your mind for years, even as you want to shut them out.
Just like many other matters. Just a few days ago, I embarked on a stupid mission and yesterday, Weiling was still doubting my ability to see through what I had wanted to do. Not wanting to trouble my usual "poor-thing" victim, I broke my resolution again though with a "corporate tone", according to my sis. I must have succeeded to some extent cause I received something set in a "warning tone", such that if I wasn't careful, an eruption would be imminent. As usual, I immediately felt 不忍 , felt bad and needless to say, my attitude made one huge U-turn and exceeded its limits again. Just as Weiling predicted. Gosh.. if this continues, I'll never succeed in what I set out to do earlier. Then again, being the mean person I am, I'm very sure I'm capable of sustaining my mean-ness.
Still on the topic of spring cleaning the brain, it's always good to have newer friends. Met Beatrice today. And it was highly enjoyable, the conversation I mean. Sometimes, even observation itself doesn't paint the full picture. There were certain comments made that didn't fit into the picture I saw, but all in all, it was fun even if the food wasn't that perfect. Afterall, who cares when the companion is great, right?
Meal companion reminds me of next week! Imagine it's only Friday and I've settled lunch for both Monday and Tuesday (yes, I'm dumb enough to volunteer for the 2nd day 9am just because they said they needed people. What's wrong with me?)! Ok, the Tuesday part is linked to a certain earlier paragraph that, as usual is for me to know and for you to figure out. And the Tuesday lunch also means I've to get rid of a certain irritating Mr SR prior to that. Otherwise, I'm sure he'll be itching to perform his permanent hobby of back-stabbing again. But, it doesn't matter I guess. I need to do my sis a favour and at the same time not owe others any favours. Besides, sad to say, there's nothing they would bother to do against me anyway. Hmm.....
Disclaimer: If any of the above doesn't make much sense to you, just read it with a pinch of salt, cause it probably doesn't make sense. And in case you are wondering why, that's just because I'm nodding off whilst typing this entry =)
