Things I love

Thanks for arranging dinner this time every year (well, more or less so), my favourite Mr Tan! =) Dinner with you and my dearest Mr Chan is always one of the best-est thing I can get on this day! =)

Eh.. see lah.. Why did you move?
Now I don't have a photo of my favourite Mr Tan =(

Oh yes, and thanks for the chicken all the way from Japan, Mr Tan!!

No.. you guys are not allowed to barbeque, deep fry etc etc it! Stop being mean!!! Grrr.. Anyway, it's now sitting happily in my room now watching over my messy table.. Haha..

快乐是。。。

能在一位认识十年的好友的生日卡上随意写上这十年来的感想，能与认识十年的好友吃晚餐以提早庆祝他的生日。。

******

Dear Mr Chai,

When you smsed to postpone our dinner to a slightly later time yesterday, I was a little torn between given you the option to cancel the dinner so that you wouldn't have to rush and not giving you that option so that I can meet you before the 17th. Maybe I'm just sticky, but without letting you know in advance, I had wanted it to be your pre-birthday celebration, not a post one. Not when it's been exactly 10 years since this particular tall guy in a light green uniform extended his hand and intro-ed himself at S29's first recess as a class. Still, I was really super duper happy that you did managed to make it after all, without me (selfishly) not extending the option of cancelling dinner.

After so many years of no longer writing postcards/letters and the many many post-it notes, I didn't think it was so much of a breeze to really put down what I wanted to say in the card. From our common GP classes to our 101 cold wars, 斗嘴-ing sessions (seriously, I think I learnt to argue only then.. haha.. your fault!)... to your self-coined "banana skin incident"... to revising for A levels together.. to disfiguring me with the netball.. to almost cracking my skull with the rugby ball.. to you throwing that major tantrum in CO and me getting pissed off later during the camp.. to you and your silly "it's ok that you didn't do well this time, you're not applying for scholarships anyway" words of comfort (which was of course the reason why I started a cold war with you again.. eh.. I'm not sure about you but these words are not comforting, can?).. all of these are part of the growing up memories that I cherish, even if throughout these years, I've never really said it, or in your words previously, I really didn't know how to keep my friends. Come to think of it, for someone who hated people sticking to her, you were the only friend whom I was practically with most of the time without me running away after a while. Haha.. must be because you were too fierce, esp since the Physics file incident.. Haha

Whatever the case, for the last of my VVVIPs series to have your birthday this year, and for being one of my sturdiest pillars of strength in JC together with GK.. thank you, Mr Chai Kian Ping.. for pushing me hard enough in school, for splashing cold water on me unknown times.. for being horrendously frank about me needing to lose weight or me being a girl yet still being ultra messy.. most importantly, thank you for shining the beacon of light of friendship even when you kept (annoyingly) insisting that it's hard to make friends beyond secondary school and accepting/accomodating the troublesome and weird me as your close friend back in JC.

Happy birthday, JianPing! =)

And yes... congrats tooo!!! I'm looking forward to playing with your son... not attending his wedding the 1st time I meet him, yah?

Yours sincerely,

The adorable 6-year old

PS: Mr Chai, please don't use the same method you used to teach me cycling on your son. Granted he'll not get injured, but seriously, it'll take forever for him to learn how to ride the bicyle that way!

Thank you, Mr Tay!!!

很想给你写封信
告诉你这里的天气
昨夜的那一场电影
还有我的心情
很想给你写封信
却只是想想而已
我已经不能肯定
你是不是还会关心

(Disclaimer: Whilst the song does not has absolutely no relation to this entry, I thought this paragraph suitably links to the first few paras below..)

A few weeks ago, whilst the study was being spring cleaned, I chanced upon my memory box and opened the "pandora box". Not that I really needed to re-read them. The postcards / letters that meant something to me, I'd probably have already memorised the contents by heart. Staring at the various handwritings, it felt as though I had momentarily time-travelled back to the full grey uniform era, where life revolved round surviving one round after another of common tests and exams. And I missed the letters from that "bygone era" and mostly the feeling of being around those people back then.

It's been 10 years. I've almost forgotten how some of us were like back then. Had the momentary impulse to write a long X'mas card to each of my frequent postcards/letters/post-it notes senders/receipients. What would your response be? Will I hear from anyone?

Perhaps despite trying to harden myself and grow up over the years, a part of me refused to go with the flow and hid itself, so that I could revert back to that kid whenever I am in the company of the VVVIPs. Perhaps that was why Caroline said I need to act more matured, in a manner befitting my profession. But then, it's really because I am comfortable around certain people, that's why I could let my guard down and let the tried-to-hide hidden part surface.

Actually, meeting up with Honghui several Saturdays ago made me realise, there may be more friends you pick up along the way and maybe feel comfortable with but not all can trigger the happy button within you just by their presence.

When I asked for a mug this year, I really meant any kind of mug, even if, as Gek Koon said, a cheap mug from some Sweddish store. Just like what I've said to Gilson before, I'm the easiest and hardest to get anything for, depending on your importance to me. To you, it may just be a normal, not good looking mug. To me, having a mug from one of my VVVIP friends in my office is a source of comfort when things get down and a reminder that I need to strive harder, to shine more brilliantly so that no matter where any of you are, you can still be proud enough to say "eh.. that's my friend!".

But then, like I said, it doesn't matter what you got for me. Cos I still LOVE the soft toy you bought this time round! And yes, it's effective in calming me down when I hug it and lean against it.. And yes, I don't throw soft toys to test whether they're breakable. Grrr... Seriously, did you realise you've been giving me a soft toy each year? Haha..

But like I said, my favourite present from you is still our meeting up. Despite my 嘴硬-ness about avoiding people in December, I still relish the non-sms conversations and/or simply the real-life presence of those important ones. And yes, that includes the other person whom I've not really chatted with in a significantly long while and whom I was chatting with on Friday night. Yes, stop looking around, that's you, Mr Tan. =)

Choosing to Learn to be Happy

Initially, I thought my bout of feeling high at work last afternoon was a result of me feeling bitchy. After some reflection on my way to the train station last night, I realised it's probably more due to my enjoyable lunch with my cousin, and the ongoing chat with one of my closest ECSF friend.

Frankly, I'm still amused at how Tianfa and I almost never spoke to each other at all for almost 22+ years, but after that one lunch during my pupillage, he's now the perhaps only cousin I'm more comfortable talking to, and together with her sis, the cousins I much prefer. Things work in interesting ways. Just like how Honghui was never someone I would talk to in NJCO (well, unless you count asking him to help carry the heavy instruments) yet for some strange reason which I can't recall, we started keeping in touch when we were in uni and now he counts for one of the more important friends. In fact, I enjoyed the movie Gokusen a lot more (ok, it's a genre that I like in the first place) thanks to my companion. Yes, I may still behave like the person 5 years ago, but that's because I feel comfortable and relax enough to teleport myself back to being myself. After being a porcupine for quite some time, the best way to recharge, imho, is simply feeling safe enough to be yourself once again.

Which brings me to my title this morning. It's actually a translation of what the monk presiding over MeiFong's wedding on Sunday said at the end of the ceremony. Troubled feeling and the feeling of happiness are feelings. You learn to be happy and you learn to be troubled. So you might as well learn to be happy. How true. Which (thankfully) made me curb my bitchiness and not attempt to devout an entry of snide remarks to some other website I saw.

Speaking of which, yes, last Sunday must have been a really auspicious day. Attended my cousin's wedding in the day, and Jac's wedding dinner at night. And I had to skip Teck Yeow's wedding dinner. Still, at least I had time to drop by ECSF last week to give Teck Yeow his red packet, and at the same time, see a lot of my ex-colleagues (do they count? Hmmm) there. It may be almost a year since GLC moved out, but ECSF still feels very much "home". Haha.. I guess the only not-too-pleasing episode was the follow-up after that, but, whatever it is, it doesn't matter anymore. I'm still as happy for Kok Sing (but yah, you do not have to invite me to your housewarming.. haha.. I'm still stubborn) and yes, I'll still be waiting for the best kind of birthday present from you in a few days time.. ie. your sms..

Back to my cousin's wedding. Has anyone ever attended a solemnisation in a temple? I was really pondering hard what it would be like and when I finally witnessed it, it feels a lot more meaningful than some other solemnisation..

And some photos of her brother, who was more like a bridesmaid..oops..

Unfortunately though, my sis and I were the only ones on my mum's side to turn up for the solemnisation. Thought that was pretty not nice that some people didn't bother to turn up for the solemnisation and/or tea ceremony thereafter without reasonable excuses whatsoever. Oh well, no worries, I wouldn't be turning up for some of yours either and waste my red packets on you.

Anyway, after the solemnisation, Mei Fong had her tea ceremony at her place. Seriously, this was the first time I've seen her flat.

And finally, the group photo:

Congrats, cousin!! May you have a blissful marriage!! =)Who says nice people finish last? In fact, if that were true, I wouldn't be able to witness your wedding... nor Jac's wedding!!

Yes, I'm being bitchy but seriously, if certain things happen (or don't happen), perhaps one should just reflect upon themselves instead of making hilarious conclusions. If I actually apply that reasoning, does that mean that LiJia, for example, is not nice? (Oops.. sorry Lijia, I just randomly thought of your name when I was thinking of a blissfully attached friend) What crap.. I would say that those attention seeking, whine-y ones who do not know what sincere apology is are less deserving than all the happy friends I can think of. Oops.. I didn't manage to curb my bitchiness afterall. Which explains why I'm not attached. Cause I admit I'm not nice! Haha..

Anyway, interestingly, when I was doing research on red packets and weddings, one of the search results directed me to a friend's blog. Egeus!! I almost forgot to congratulate you too! I must say, your home deco is nice!! So will I get to see baby photos on your blog this time next year? :p

Speaking of babies, I wonder if Angel has given birth to their daughter.. There seems no updates on Itak and Angel's facebook, which weirdly is making me worried.. Do hope all is well for both of you! Hmm..

Why do some clarinets crack but not others

Before Mr Jimmy Lee taught us Physics in JC, I never thought of Physics as an interesting subject. Mr Stanley Lim's impressively pretty powerpoint slides were just that. Pretty. Why on earth did Newton have 3 laws of motion, when we had enough of Hooke's law, Fleming's Left Hand Rule etc, I could never understand. Not till I grew older (and no longer took Physics) did I realise the simple brillance in Newton's 3 laws.

Newton's 1st law: An object continues in its state of rest or uniform line of motion until acted on by an external force. Yet to see the parallel to our daily lives? Just think, when was the last time you did something different from your daily routine? And why did you do that? Chances up, something unexpected cropped up, throwing your routine into a somewhat disarray.

2nd law: Force is proportional to acceleration. Ok, this is quite a stretch, but still... if you charge forward, chances are, there's a greater likelihood of success as compared to one who's content with his/her lot

Still, my favourite and the main point of my (weird) reference to Newton is his 3rd law, which todate remains the hardest to grasp, well, at least Physics wise.. When a force acts on an object, there will always be an equal and opposite reactant force acting upon it.

Not everything in life can be measured accurately. However much effort you put into something cannot be measured and translated into an absolute equivalent. Still, that doesn't mean that Newton's 3rd law would fail miserably. Just like how you wonder why some clarinets don't crack whilst others do. A clarinet that is not oiled will crack.

I hope you get my point despite my windy analogy. Granted, one may not always get back everything that one puts in. But you need to put in something before you get anything back. If your friends do irrational things for you (seriously, I didn't think all sounded irrational) that's definitely cause they've received something else that you've never really noticed you've given. Just like how I was (annoyingly) concerned about "insecticide" despite facts pointing to my silliness. That was just a resultant force accumulating from the numerous care and concern showered upon me earlier.

So to whom this entry is dedicated to, cut yourself some slack. So what if things go another way, so what if a friend was not meant to be? It doesn't necessary mean that you haven't done enough to receive the love from your other friends. Just like how your clarinets do not crack as easily, cause you did put your heart to oil-ing them. =)

PS: Mr Issac Newton, I'm really sorry if I've offended you with my alternative interpretation of your laws..

Lawyers have no friends?

That was what Stella concluded when we were trying to coordinate our lunch time for our meet-up at our favourite Taiwan porridge. Somehow, it becomes harder and harder for us to meet up as a group now that all of us are in different firms and have different schedules. No wonder Nicc agreed with Stella's comments almost immediately. Which brings to mind how I should thank my lucky stars for my dearest friends (annoyingly, some copycat seemed to have started using the phrase as well) who still tolerate my schedule and not leave me out altogether after being flown kite by me 101 times.. Sadly though, now that I've more of my life than the past year or so, I'm beginning to miss having dinners with friends like Weiguang etc.. How on earth did we meet up more often then for dinner? Hmm.. whatever the case, thanks for not giving up on me even when a whole lot of you probably know my office quite well and have at some time or other eaten with me in my room at GLC. Whatever will I do without you guys? Hmm..

Even putting aside how I was hardly ever able to meet up (save for the dinners in my office), I still admire my friends' ability to tolerate my blow-hot-blow-cold behaviour. 10 years ago, one of my closest friends was exasperated at how unpredictable I could get - one moment we were seemingly close friends and the next, I was horrendously withdrawn. The closer I am to a person, the more I would worry that I was becoming over-reliant on the person and the insecure me would simply swing to the other extreme quickly so that no one would realise my over-reliance. Fast forward 10 years, my insecurity is still ensuring that this peculiar trait remains rooted. In fact, whilst typing this, I'm still wondering if I annoyed another friend with my hot-cold behaviour again. If so, I'm really sorry. I'll try to make a conscious effort to keep that in check, though knowing me, it'll work only for a short while. So if any one finds my behaviour unbecoming, please don't hesitate to remind me, k?

Fate

How often do we hear how something occurring at the wrong moment just becomes wrong?

Uncle smsed me to say that the fat smelly one is leaving. Yet, Weiguang was absolutely right when he said I'm not fated to go back to GLC. If this had happened when I was still at my nightmare place, I would probably have jumped at the offer to go back, to the firm w/o the silly fat smelly one. But too bad, I'm happy where I am now, and I've no intention of leaving nice bosses as yet.

I wonder which unlucky/silly place is taking him in though..Hmm..

On another note, I'm pretty happy this evening. Now if only I can get that plan typed out asap..

Reflection...

It's been a month and 19 days (to be exact) since I moved to my new home. At first, I chose to be vague, not wanting certain people I hated to know, now that I've happily settled in and spring cleaned some parts of my life, I can happily announce.. Yes, I've resigned *again* and am happily settled in my new home and loving every bit of it. (Just imagine, which bosses would allow the firm to close at 3pm so that everyone can go off for our KTV session and dinner?)

my new "home"

It takes certain episodes for a person to wake up, and I'm glad that the 5 months of nightmare did that, to a certain extent. More or less gone are the "excesses", people I should have gotten rid of long ago but never successfully did. But when someone you had a hard time relinquishing as friend tells you that you're weird when you were ultra depressed / nervous even though he was and still is way more tolerant to some others' whines, it is like pouring ice water on a drunkard.. you wake up to the reality that you do not need such people... at least not as your friend. This time round, I'm not upset. In fact, if necessary, I can now happily point you out as someone from my class for a really short period long time ago. And you'll always remain as an acquaintance who was once really sweet.

Of course, clearing excess baggage also meant throwing away a person I hate very much who somehow though still randomly "guest-starred" in my life.. Afterall, there is no longer a need for me to be nice to the person to protect another person. I hated you for using female-ish ways to allow yourself to get "protected" by people who meant something to me. I even once doubted myself cause of you. But not anymore. You can win everything. All those whom you consciously/subconsciously wanted to snatch away, but let me tell you this.. The ones who're on your side, they don't mean anything to me. The gems of my life? I'll never intro them to you, cause they're way too precious to me for me to cede them to you. That said, Weiguang, thanks for your vote of confidence when I really needed it.

Not too long ago, a hairstylist (ok, I know strictly speaking he's not one yet but I believe it's just a matter of time) actually commented how being easygoing also means I'll be taken for granted easily. Perhaps so. Unfortunately for my newest personal trainer, I chose to subconciously keep that comment in mind. Still, I must say that changing trainers was a move I don't regret. He's way more professional and knowledgeable, training wise or current affairs etc. To a certain extent, he reminds me a little of Keith, except he's a lot more enthusiastic.. Let's hope things remain this way..

In case anyone thinks this is a whine-y post (esp Gary.. You know, I really made a conscious effort to whine less ever since you commented I whine too much, though I don't know if I've really improved) it's not meant to be. One truly moves on only when one is able to talk about a matter in a matter-of-fact manner, and I'm really all ready to move on to be back to the cheerful me I once was, so that I can be a worthy friend to the gems of my life, so that friends like Koon, Honghui etc will not have to check on me now and then..

Besides, I did gain something out of that nightmare too. It's rare to have a clique when you're at work, and I had one. The long lunches, tea at our Taiwan porridge, Cedele etc.. Our "conferences" and even Nicc's farewell in the toilet..all these would remain the happiest memories in the midst of all our gloom and I'm glad our friendship still extended past our shared misery there.

PS: Besides my friends, my GLC colleagues were a great source of comfort during that period of nightmare too and were always one sms away. Eg Maan always had encouraging words. Or Gilson, who was the receiving end of a whole lot of my depressed smses, and never once told me off for it. =)

Irrational? Perhaps

Renci saga as more or less come to a conclusion. Unlike during the NKF circus, I still choose to believe that is not as guilty as the previous group of circus animals. At least he didn't just stood by waiting for artistes to risk their lives to get more money for him. At least he "played with his life" to raise funds for his charity. At least he had the guts to admit he was a modern monk when the public saw him at restaurants. At least he didn't go round suing people for defamation when the facts were in actual fact true..

Whatever the case, he may have done wrong, but there were things that he did right. For that, I seriously hope that he doesn't get a jail term.

******

On another note,even though I've never watched Dollah Kassim play in any of the match, it doesn't make me any less keen on carrying out a search on yahoo these past few days to see if there are any updates. Whatever the case, I hope he gets up really really soon, and prove that he did not suffer any / much of brain damage. Get well soon!

The best way to close a chapter

想太多又想太重的夢想 還不如乾脆不多想
每一個險惡的浪 都會有浪花綻放 我決定邊衝邊欣賞

牛頓要我們都活在地上 偏偏我就想要飛翔
要掙脫命運綑綁 要推翻柏林圍牆 要站上巨人的肩膀

夢想永遠是逆向 一路都有人阻擋
人們說的荒唐卻是我的心中的天堂 ！

就放肆愛放肆追 放肆去闖 放肆的大鬧一場
不能原諒 如果很多年後 我還是這樣

就放肆愛放肆追 放肆去闖 放肆是我的信仰
再不去闖 夢想永遠只會 是一個夢想

哥倫布只要有一顆星光 就膽敢橫越大西洋
我還有一把吉他 我還有一群死黨 為什麼還不大聲唱

達爾文假設生命是戰場 就讓我基因不投降
把傷痕裝滿手掌 把鼓聲裝滿心臟 把歌聲裝滿肺活量

夢想永遠是逆光 只有剪影的模樣
會有什麼細節 什麼體驗？ 不要只猜想！

The Professional Worrier

I wonder if I'm the spread-er of misfortune. Why do so many people around me wind up in hospitals?

For a moment, WKF's msn about not being upset with me for dropping the card brightened up my day tremendously. The next moment, Huimin's smses made my mood sink to the lowest.

If birthday wishes do come true and I could make an advance birthday wish now, can I wish that you'll recover ASAP?

Mr WKF, jia you! Cause only you can help me fulfil that birthday wish.

Probably disqualified from lecturing at NYU

That is, if I would qualify academically in the first place. Haha...

Never realised my extent of categorisation, until for some reason, I notice a different name on a piece of paper today, and the corresponding name on the name tag. Even though I wasn't very pleased with your standard of work for quite some time, which was aggravated just a few months back, I didn't dislike you as immensely. But when you matter-of-factly said you've converted today, I've no idea why I found it so extremely repulsive. Cause you are not amongst my real friends, so my dislike outweighs our acquaintance? Or because you are still deemed a friend, though not as much, so my dislike was aggravated?

Whatever it is, I think today's event made me resolve to change. Either that or follow through and stop when it ends. (On top of the fact that I was doing time-watching and the discrepancy was obvious. I know I'm repulsively stereotyping, but am I wrong to say that the change has made you less hardworking as well?)

Don't know, but yes, I'm kind of taken aback by my strong reaction.

简单的快乐

I know I haven't blogged in a million years and there are loads of congratulatory messages for a few of my friends, but for the moment..

I just had one of the best-est dinners I can ever had! No need for atas places like TCC etc. In fact, when JianPing asked for suggestions for less than $20 food places, the first place I thought of was Seah Im..

Although we ended up at Food Junction at Vivo instead, it really didn't matter. For the 2+ hours, it felt like time stood still (or perhaps even that we were in a time shuttle). No need for pretence, no need for politically correct comments. It was back to being myself, and commenting about what I truly think.

THIS is what real friendship is all about. Comfy, secure, where nothing else matters.

That's what friends are for

That phrase came to my mind the moment blogger appeared on the screen.

If not for some of my angels, these two weeks would probably have been even more mentally exhausting. In fact, I even realised how lucky I am to have made a good friend at work.

Still, who cares about competing with non important people? So what if my mum thinks you are pretty (Hah!). Fact is, being with the people who are important to me is probably my perfect tranquiliser.

Can't wait to meet up with the other most important friends too.

In the meantime, I shall just savour the amount of nice food I had within the week.

Why oh why?

Can you please just accept the letter?

I'm at my wits end.

******

Just found out that one of my neighbour for the longest time ever is moving away this month. =(

Things I'm grateful for today...

Even if it sounds a bit like those prayers, no it's definitely not. Just that whilst walking to the train station from China Square, it suddenly occurred to me that despite mad man being mad as usual, there were a lot of little things that made my day. And these are the things that keep me going. Anyway, the 2 things I reflected upon on my way to the train station:

(1) NTUC Income. Yup, the scholarship may have caused me to lag a year behind my peers, but it brought along new opportunities and friends, which would probably not exist in my life. After having lunch with legal today (plus Caroline, who was part of legal too), I realised that just as you can take me out of RGS but not take RGS traits out of me, by the same nature, I can be out of NTUC Income, but a part of NTUC Income will still remain in me. It's been 2 years since I celebrated lao ban's birthday with the section, but it all felt so surreal and reminiscent of the past at Muthu's Curry today. Whether Vincent meant it or not, his offer to talk to Mr Peh made him really daddy-like, which also reminded me why he would always be the boss I respect most. Thanks, Vincent, and happy birthday in advance! (I want to see Evan.. Bring Evan!!!!)

(2) Shaun. After so many years of trying to find my optimistic and cheery self (the one whom Qiuting used to describe as always smiling), I realised that I did become more cheerful these days, even though facing mad man and his protege doesn't seem to be a particularly pleasing task. The key to optimism, I think, is the amount of running, exercising I've been subjecting myself to. In fact, I was probably cheerier in NJC because I used to skip, bounce everywhere and even across the library. Maybe that's why nespray was such an optimistic person too (Hmm.. I wonder how he is now). Anyway, even if you won't get a chance to see this, thanks Shaun, for at least making me slightly more enthu about exercising, such that I might have finally found the elusive key to turning myself back into the cheery Yaofang I used to be.

Nothing matters more to me than..

I'm just being ultra emo tonight.

Still, da ge, thank you. You'll always be one of my most important friends, and one of those who'll make me want to be successful enough for you to be proud of, no matter where you are.

随想

“谁是草莓族，你才是榴莲族。。”

不知从几何时，我已习惯用伤害来保护自己。也只有在少数的面前，我才愿意让你们看到善良，宽容的一面。

也许是封闭了太久，也只有在WL顺其自然的提醒我该避开某事时，我才突然发现我真的好爱无意间也伤害自己。

快速的步伐总让人忘了欣赏周遭的风光。只有在遇到阻碍时，你才会偶然发现身旁的风景。

炎闷的午后竟因一个简单的短讯而灿烂了。是巧合吗？怎么美思Guohui都同一个星期内发短讯呢？

无论如何，你们却让我在拼命的斩除前方自己设下的敌人的当儿，突然停下脚步，不在乎仇人已跑的多远。

美思，今天没回电，对不起！但请相信耀芳依旧是耀芳，说到，一定做到。

Guohui，你也是。即使我已不小心删除你今天的短讯，但你可要说到做到哦。我依然期待你康复早日回到工作岗位上。

Random thoughts...

Someone asked me today how I find the time to blog. I realised I don't, just like a lot my other friends who have more or less ceased their blogging activities (ie. Claritee, Soulvibes etc). Unlike some who blog so that they can let the entire world know what they are doing, others blog only so that friends whom they hardly see can still be updated once in a while (Facebook status not counted). So Ms Claritee, Mr Soulvibes etc.. I'm still waiting for updates on your blogs, especially now that I can hardly come online, and I don't get to see you all too...

My new job was supposed to allow me more time to see my friends, rather than have them come to my office just to deliver food. Why is it then that I end up having even less time for them now? In the past, at least they could come up with food. With monster here now, I doubt they can even step foot into the lift lobby.

Interestingly enough, just as I mentioned in my earlier entry, my most often meet-up "friend" is really someone who gets paid to see me. Which may or may not be a good thing since I think bottling too much stuff within me has made me blabber a lot more things that I think I shouldn't have. I need to learn to shut up and watch tv more. Haha...

On a side note, I'm impressed by WL's honesty. Frankly, I don't think I'd ever do what you do. Whatever and however things turn out, remember I'll always support you, k dearest? =)

On a super side note, should I reply Jo's message on Facebook?

Intolerance, a step towards downfall?

Couldn't help but applaud when I read the parliamentary comment by Assoc Prof Koo (Tanjong Pagar GRC) when he stated that intolerance, and not the economic crisis, poses the biggest threat to Singapore. Finally, a person who's willing to call a spade a spade, and not deal with the matter in a roundabout manner.

If like what Prof Thio said, that the media had blown up the entire AWARE saga, why on earth did she deem it fit to raise it in parliament again, now that the dust has supposedly settled? If the media were truly biased in their reporting, they could have totally left out your and another unknown MP's parliamentary speech. The fact is that (as Prof Thio would probably know since she lectures on Human Rights anyway), the media is still made up of humans, and humans are entitled to expression, reporters or not. As long as they do not go overboard in their reporting, who are you to stop them from congratulating the new-old exco from scoring the coup against the team led by your mother?

The way I see it (not that my view really really matters, of course), the whole parliamentary speech is like a broken tape recorder played by a sore loser. If the papers had slanted towards your mum's "we-should-bring-down-the-pro-gay-AWARE-people", would you, or Mr Sin still accuse the papers of being biased, for not sufficiently reporting on "the other side"? The fact is, you won't.

Frankly, I totally agree with our Minister of State for Defence (ok, I admit I didn't know he was a Minister of State before this, but that's not THAT bad, right?) that "While we focus our energies on solving this economic crisis, we should never lose sight of the long-term challenge of building a tolerant, diverse and inclusive infrastructure where everybody has a private space within the bigger common space". Lest you or your mum accuses me of being "sexually challenged" (haha.. what a funny term, no wonder people had to write in to the forum to comment on it), let me just clarify that I am not (disliking certain males that I have to deal with on a routine basis doesn't count, I'm sure). My only difference is probably just that I have friends whom you view negatively. But that doesn't matter, frankly, because to me, they are still priceless. Sexual preference does not make or break a person. In fact, some of my dearest friends are way better than those "normal" ones who may be useless, less caring and downright self centred.

Besides, if you look at it from a policy point of view, if you were to argue that it is these people who affect the growth of our population, given that they will probably not form a "normal" family unit, perhaps you may explain the difference between them, and a not-married-and-probably-will-end-up-single-for-the-rest-of-their-lives "normal" being, who too, does not in any way aid in the growth of our nation. As long as everyone contributes to improving the society, who are you to judge others? Just like what our pledge says "To built a democratic society, based on justice and EQUALITY". Justice is insufficent if you do not have equality as well.

To further clarify, I am not exerting that you may not take your anti-gay views. But do not attempt to impose it on others who choose to look at it from another view. As long as one doesn't step past others' boundaries, it is fine whatever you choose because that is your own life.

Which brings me to another point about keeping within boundaries. Audrey mentioned the other day about GLC's ex COO overstepping the boundaries when he called her home after she missed his call on her handphone. That, I truly agree too. In this day and age where mobile phones are a common sight, home phones are really dedicated to certain individuals whom we deem important enough. So it's just pure rude and annoying if you can't get a person, and you have to call the person's home to hunt down the person. If it is not life and death, so be it. In fact, we agree that it is as rude and ill mannered as calling people at ungodly hours of the day for non life-and-death matters. (For the most important friends in my life, for eg. Randall, Gary, Qi, Koon, Lijia, Guoxing, Itak da ge, you guys are obviously exempted. I don't even mind being on call 24/7!)

Now that I'm more or less done with my ranting, I just can't help but realise that changing jobs really doesn't make a different to the amount of time I have in my life. Was just hit with the realisation that the person who seems to see me most, and to a certain extent, see the real me (or hear my weirdest blabbering) most is actually Shaun, rather than any of my closer friends. Perhaps cause I'm really consciously not allowing myself to whine too much to you all (yeah.. i know I still do despite me actively not letting you all in on a lot already). Come to think of it, Shaun really has to be careful, haha.. someday I might just have to kill-person-rid-mouth (translate into Chinese). Haha.. Still, don't worry, I've finally figured that in trying to make you guys proud of me, the other important thing is to be happy too, just like what GK or Itak da ge said when I asked whether I'm useless if I just gave up... I'm sure I'll be able to be successful at work and find the cheerful me (haha.. was suddenly reminded of nespray) again so that you guys can really really be proud of me.