Reflection...

It's been a month and 19 days (to be exact) since I moved to my new home. At first, I chose to be vague, not wanting certain people I hated to know, now that I've happily settled in and spring cleaned some parts of my life, I can happily announce.. Yes, I've resigned *again* and am happily settled in my new home and loving every bit of it. (Just imagine, which bosses would allow the firm to close at 3pm so that everyone can go off for our KTV session and dinner?)

my new "home"

It takes certain episodes for a person to wake up, and I'm glad that the 5 months of nightmare did that, to a certain extent. More or less gone are the "excesses", people I should have gotten rid of long ago but never successfully did. But when someone you had a hard time relinquishing as friend tells you that you're weird when you were ultra depressed / nervous even though he was and still is way more tolerant to some others' whines, it is like pouring ice water on a drunkard.. you wake up to the reality that you do not need such people... at least not as your friend. This time round, I'm not upset. In fact, if necessary, I can now happily point you out as someone from my class for a really short period long time ago. And you'll always remain as an acquaintance who was once really sweet.

Of course, clearing excess baggage also meant throwing away a person I hate very much who somehow though still randomly "guest-starred" in my life.. Afterall, there is no longer a need for me to be nice to the person to protect another person. I hated you for using female-ish ways to allow yourself to get "protected" by people who meant something to me. I even once doubted myself cause of you. But not anymore. You can win everything. All those whom you consciously/subconsciously wanted to snatch away, but let me tell you this.. The ones who're on your side, they don't mean anything to me. The gems of my life? I'll never intro them to you, cause they're way too precious to me for me to cede them to you. That said, Weiguang, thanks for your vote of confidence when I really needed it.

Not too long ago, a hairstylist (ok, I know strictly speaking he's not one yet but I believe it's just a matter of time) actually commented how being easygoing also means I'll be taken for granted easily. Perhaps so. Unfortunately for my newest personal trainer, I chose to subconciously keep that comment in mind. Still, I must say that changing trainers was a move I don't regret. He's way more professional and knowledgeable, training wise or current affairs etc. To a certain extent, he reminds me a little of Keith, except he's a lot more enthusiastic.. Let's hope things remain this way..

In case anyone thinks this is a whine-y post (esp Gary.. You know, I really made a conscious effort to whine less ever since you commented I whine too much, though I don't know if I've really improved) it's not meant to be. One truly moves on only when one is able to talk about a matter in a matter-of-fact manner, and I'm really all ready to move on to be back to the cheerful me I once was, so that I can be a worthy friend to the gems of my life, so that friends like Koon, Honghui etc will not have to check on me now and then..

Besides, I did gain something out of that nightmare too. It's rare to have a clique when you're at work, and I had one. The long lunches, tea at our Taiwan porridge, Cedele etc.. Our "conferences" and even Nicc's farewell in the toilet..all these would remain the happiest memories in the midst of all our gloom and I'm glad our friendship still extended past our shared misery there.

PS: Besides my friends, my GLC colleagues were a great source of comfort during that period of nightmare too and were always one sms away. Eg Maan always had encouraging words. Or Gilson, who was the receiving end of a whole lot of my depressed smses, and never once told me off for it. =)