Letters to some friends
Letters are sometimes the best way to get a point across, especially when there are certain things that you don't feel comfortable saying directly, or when you don't have direct access to the other party. The good thing about blogs is, you can just leave what you want to say to the person, and the person will just read it as and when he/she is able to...
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Dear --- (name omitted to keep identity confidential),
Despite all the positive smses and msn messages, are you sure you are ok? Cause my gut feel tells me that you are just hiding your hurt, but I don't know whether my incessant probing will just worsen the wound, and so, I chose not to until you choose to tell me otherwise.
Still, I'm really glad you trusted me sufficient to sms on Saturday.
However, one sentence left a deep impression, which perhaps, was what sparked off this letter. "I'm sorry, you've been so supportive towards me but I did not listen to your advice." I hope you don't mind me putting up this sentence. You know what? Even if it sounds kind of impolite, I still want to say, "---, stop being silly!"
You see, I never expected you to follow every single thing that I said. That wouldn't be advice, but rather a command. And it wouldn't be from a friend either. For friends are just like supporting pillars, they are there for you to lean on when you need, but they'll not hold a grudge against you should you not listen to them and decide to lean against a decaying tree trunk and later hurt yourself. Even if you do hurt yourself time and again, your friend will still be willing to stretch out a hand and help you stand up again, so long as you are willing to reach out to grab the hand.
Remember what I've told you in one of my smses on Thursday? So long as you know what you are doing, I'll always be there to lend you my moral support. And so long as you need me, I'm always an sms/a phone call away, even if it's some ungodly hours in the morning.
So no more doing silly things like apologising cause you don't have to (Well, unless I tell you specifically so, then that's another story)
On another note, perhaps my words may not count as much as the person who sent you that sms, but still, do not take to heart whatever that sms said. For one thing, I am very sure that you are neither annoying nor unlikeable. Take care, k? Cause I still want to meet up with you and no, I do not want to eat grass! =p
Luv
Yaofang (--> Suddenly remembered the nick I used to use. Can still remember?)
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Dear --- (name once again omitted to keep identity secret),
Even though you don't really mention it, from your blog, I know that you are sometimes still lost after the one supposedly wrong decision that you've made.
Still, after all these years, it's time for you to let go of that regret, and move on in the direction that you think you want to go. You see, no one in the world is perfect. Each of us make wrong moves at one point or another. The wrong move may have caused you a year, but without that supposedly wrong move, a lot of things may now be different. Perhaps you may not be as grateful for the lecturers, friends, and mentors you have now.
Just take me for example. You know that I regretted the decision I made 6 years ago really badly. In fact, there were so many times this year when I was on the verge of breaking down, or even broke down when no one was noticing. Still, if you asked me if things might have been better without that decision, I know I can never say for sure. Without that, would I have done my pupillage in Rodyk? Maybe not, but then again, who knows? One thing for sure though, I'm quite confident I would not have had Christopher as the pupil master whom I, up till now, still respect. It's just the same as, would Siang Pheng have taken notice of this insignificant pupil? Or would Terence be less of the nice big brother and more of the 'tyrant' as the other pupils have described? I wouldn't know. All these are just the same as the RJC/NJC situation. It may have been 'earth-shattering' to have had to switch schools after 3 months, especially for a sentimental person like me. But given the choice now, I wouldn't mind going through that bit of heartache either.
Just like what Kum Fu said in his sms early this year when I was utterly upset with that bitch who took 2 years to reply my email, just move on!
There are many other things around you that you should grasp hold of. You said you have a great mentor, so you ought to take the opportunity to excel! There's no point in saying a lot, wishing a lot, but not getting down to doing it, right? It's just like you've said Leslie Loo and the others are very nice, so what should you do? Work hard to prove to them that you are really as good as you appear to be!
Good luck! =)
Luv
Non-guiny!
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Dear Itak,
It's been a week since you've started your new job. How has it been?
Just wanted to say, "Happy 25th Birthday!"
Even if I've said it a million and one times, thank you for being amongst the handful of friends that I trust most and can lean on most often. As I was walking past Peninsula Plaza just now, I was suddenly reminded of you and Darmaji again, and how the two of you would always inevitably be outside that VCD shop watching whatever that's shown, during our breaks. Those were one of the happiest times after I've completed jc. Funny enough, my impression of Darmaji would always be how he made used of my soft toy duck to make me smile when I was feeling down on my last day of work at Power Supply. And you? It was how, on that very same day, you started 'biting' the computer cables to remind us that it was dinner time and that you were hungry. The two of you together were always able to make me smile.
Xie xie, Itak da ge! For all the smiles, and more importantly, for ALWAYS believing in and letting your spoilt brat xiao mei here have her way.
Happy Birthday!
luv
Xiaomei
PS: I hope you liked the present! =)
The following Monday was dinner with Vicknesh. It's been a really long while since I've last met him, the last time being the time I fell off the bicycle and had to go for a client meeting the next Monday with significant plasters. This time round, we decided to be adventurous with food (then again, we've always been, given that the last time round, we ate the outer skin of the fruits for our desserts.. haha). This time, we had our dinner at this Turkey restaurant at Chijmes. Somehow, for the entire time we were there, we were the only customers. Then again, it's really not difficult to figure out why. In fact, if anyone wants to go there, you might want to stick to some dish called "Alexander the Great" or something only. Still, they had rather interesting cups! And exotic dishes.
And then, some time last week, it was a long-talked-about dinner with Mingyi. Some things just don't change. Like how we'll always talk about meeting up for lunch or dinner, but only do so a million years later. I can't exactly remember what we chatted about, but I just remember it was fun.
That's chicken rice in case you are wondering. And to end it off, here's a night view of Malacca from the balcony.
Just look at how happy and proud Ms Tan is of her chocolate coated ice-cream!! Too bad the ice-cream melted really quickly, so much so that the chocolate coat for one of the subsequent ones fell back into the melted chocolate and made it look thick. And THAT was what led to Ms Tan's creation, which stupid blogspot refuses to let me put up, for now. Oh well..