That was an apt comment by Gary over dinner today (Note that this is but the gist of what he said, as I've interpreted it. Who remembers exact words, right?)
Being the nice and adorable girl I am, I met up with some petty guy who had to remind me that I 放 him飞机 last year. For goodness sake, it was only a few weeks ago, no one else would consider that as last year, yahz? In any case, dinner was not bad (especially with extra entertainment from the expression of the guy beside us) and I got to eat what I had initally wanted to have with my sis yesterday.
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Being an indifferent and fake person is very much an art. I actually found it rather amusing that I smiled at a particular female I didn't exactly liked when I bumped into her along Citylink Mall. And I was quite glad too, at least she saw me in my black coat. Fake sense of superiority, but who cares. She may be superior in her school, but outside, at least she isn't.
Isn't it interesting how fake people can be?
A colleague from law school wondered aloud about why cars had to be sheltered whereas human beings didn't. It was a mere spin-off from the observation that there were shelters leading to the car park (as well as the car park itself, of course) whereas there were not much of sheltered walkways around. Being in the argumentative mood that I was, I casually said that cars had value whereas humans don't. I mean, you can put a value to car, but you can't to a human, that's why people mistakenly view the car as "more important". And then the person had to argue that lawyers earn dah-dah-dah per hour, and that is our value. I'm still rather amused by my rather frank rebuttal. That I would rather see a person for their relative "value" (ie. importance) to me as a friend, than their monetary value at work. I mean, who cares if I'm worth a decent amount for my work. Ultimately, I'll be happier to be regarded as priceless to my friends, right? (Sadly though, I doubt I'm worth much in this regard too huh?)
That's basically me in my argumentative mood when I wasn't in the mood to entertain fellow humans (note the description ie. I didn't use friend) I guess I still have limited tolerance in being ultra nice to people huh? But like what I've told Mingyi this morning, I guess I don't exactly love interacting with people. It's just me, I guess.
Can't remember exactly why I told my sis my usual theory of friends ought not to be colleagues, but I continue to maintain that view. Like what I've mentioned eons ago, that's basically the reason why I would never ever apply for pupillage in a particular firm (which I enjoyed myself in thoroughly, despite it being "small" in the words of some others). Perhaps I really did value that friendship much more.
Seriously though, trust is a difficult word. A child's ability to trust is much stronger simply because he/she has not been at the receiving end of an abuse of trust. It doesn't even necessary mean being able to keep a secret, but rather, the belief that another would not hurt you. Even amongst people you regard as close friends, it is still possible for some to hurt you. Perhaps even more than others too, simply because you've trusted them much more. Trust me. Perhaps I am just petty I guess, but once the relatively fragile picture of trust has been broken (or simply that you've been hurt before by someone you've trusted) nothing can be the same. A broken mirror may be mended, but the cracks will always remain permanent.
Perhaps that's why I prefer to keep my distance. This way, you do not hand out knives for others to stab you from behind.
Even more so when there's 利害关系 involved.
Doesn't make much sense, does it? Oh well, blame it on the freezing cold weather, which had me almost turning into a block of ice. Hopefully tomorrow will be a warmer day, yah?
PS: To whoever the person who enjoys calling me by a certain 3 alphabets... for goodness sake, can you PLEASE stop it? Grrr....
Interestingly, I realised that it wasn't too difficult disclosing more matters than what I normally would too. Don't know why, but at that moment, I couldn't help but compare how different it was with another supposedly close friend. Itak da ge was simply very much like a da ge I could trust.. and I could just speak my mind freely and matter-of-factly, without worrying that whatever I had uttered would turn into a weapon used to hurt me later on. 
Really couldn't help but recall what popped into my mind again not too long ago. It seems that as time flies pass, the friends that I treasure most are still those I've met before Uni.. (okiez.. with the exception of a really small tiny minority) They're the ones who can still brighten my day just by their presence even on the gloomiest days. They're the ones who I would be willing to do anything for, just as many of them have become my pillars of support over the years. And I'll always be indebted to them, for providing their rays of sunshine..
