How much do you mean to me?

That thought crossed my mind sometime last week. Basically, a lot of things have happened over the past few days. Or maybe, there weren't that many things, just that, one significant one simply magnified everything, making every thing else pale in comparison.

Meisi has been warded at Tan Tock Seng Hospital.

When I first received that sms from an unrecognised number (it belongs to Yueting, but I didn't have her number before that), I thought it was just some evil prank. Meisi? Can't be. And of course, it could also be because I didn't want to believe anyway. Still, I called back and the truth came crashing down.

Numb. That was the first feeling. Especially when I was doing a summary on wills and probate the entire afternoon. Not a very auspicious way to receive such news. But, that was the first time I've ever felt as if I've been rooted somewhere. Smsed Jo, Guoxing, June. But the feeling still didn't feel real. That feeling is best summed by what zipped through my mind. Not Meisi. No... I don't want to lose MY friend, a friend who grew up with me, who went through the same primary, secondary, JC and in a way uni with me. When Guoxing and I were in here room, that lump just formed in my throat. You know what? Still remember the dinner we had, when you reminded me to tell you my blog address when I see you online? I haven't had the chance to yet!

Thankfully, her condition has improved now and according to her mum, she might be undergoing her operation this Thursday. Just keeping my fingers crossed that there'll be no residue effect. Meisi, you'll be fine! I know you will!

On another note, I was quite pissed with Jo. She knew Meisi was hospitalised, visited her on Thursday, notified her friends but forgot to tell me. Why? Cause I'm not Meisi's friend? Or not amongst those whom she calls immediately?

Then again, it really doesn't matter. Had Guoxing there that day and frankly, I would say that Guoxing makes a better friend than Jo. Was standing between the two of them and when I felt faint, I actually felt safer telling Guoxing than Jo. That was also the day when the two of us really chatted. Seriously, it's been so many years since we've really done that. Just like what I've said that day, even though I would prefer the old Guoxing as my friend, I do prefer seeing the current more cheerful Guoxing. Contradictory but true. And you'll still remain one of my most treasured friends, even if it's many many years down the road. Even if you always complain that I don't tell you everything, but you're one of those I still enjoy chatting with. Real chat, and not those sound-creating sessions where both just talk and talk about nothing. Don't always jump into conclusions!

You know how different friends mean to you when you are cheered up even by a no-meaning sms. It's nice to see an sms from Itak da ge, especially after a day of hating the whole world of stupid people.

Was just wondering aloud earlier about whether stupidity can be diffused through air. Somehow I think my brain is degenerating. Perhaps I'm getting snobbish, but I just can't stand how certain people think and you know the feeling of you wanting to just give certain people a tight slap? I think a lot of people really need the tight slap.

Thanks to some of those irritating pests, I decided to see Salbiah, as she had told me last week. Going in to see her meant that I'll be posted to branches and next week being the last week of me being in Servicing, it's highly likely that it'll be these few days. True enough, I'll be going to Hougang branch on Monday and Tues, and then Tampines on Wed and Thurs. In a way, there's a part of me that doesn't want to go to these branches. Maybe cause it's Jeremy's last three days of work, and my last few chances of having lunch with my lunch buddy for the past almost one month. Wonder how I would have survived here without him to talk to, 'argue' with etc. Seriously, the snobbish me would have felt utterly miserable, I'm sure. But thanks to him, the not-appealing workplace seems so much better. In fact, I'll miss having him around come July. And I'm still feeling scared about going up to Legal, somewhat cause I'm just not confident. If only he temps till end July, then at least I've someone to whine to whilst I'm settling in. Oh well, I'm beginning to sound like the kid and not the other way round huh?