Classification

I came across this word yesterday whilst giving tuition to the Primary 3 kids.

Classification is not just limited to science. In fact, each of us does quite a significant bit of classification each day. Food you like and food you don't. Your hobbies and your dislikes. Just like, people you trust and people you don't.

Had a short conversation (if you deem it as one, of course) with a PLC ex-classmate. It seems, classifications evolve everyday. Sometime last year, I had an entry basically commenting about how impressed I was with their group of people. Fast forward till today, I've actually more or less conclude that they're no less different from the other colleagues of mine, simply because they are but just another colleague in law. When I was talking to WL last Friday, she mentioned about how this ex-classmate of mine behaves like a certain M. As I thought through deeply, his resemblance to M really did become striking. And so even if I am still concern as an ex-classmate (how else do you think I've bothered to get information about retention yet not wanting to upset you should the results be negative), the fact is, if made to answer a question I had pose earlier this year, my answer is No, I don't think I'll be able to trust you, at least not anywhere in the near future. I guess I'm just too tired of caring and trusting and then have the real care, concern and trust betrayed. In fact, I actually do regret saying some things. A lot of colleagues "show concern" only in a bid to better working relations, without really actually meaning what they say. So even though I do not totally believe what another said about you, I also believe that your being nice is at least a little linked to work and usability. At least if I were to analyse carefully, I would believe it to be so.

Perhaps I'm just overestimating my usability. Earlier, I was telling Weiguang how pupillage and PLC had drastically changed me into a worse person. I do not extend as much care to as large group of persons and in fact, I can't exactly be bothered to. Why should I naively open up my heart just to let new people take a stab at it? I'm happy with my bunch of friends whom I'll always be ready to get hurt for. Just as what I've told another person earlier this week, just because you are amongst my treasured friends, no matter how much you hurt me, make me irritated or how much I want to give you up as a friend, the fact is, deep down in my heart, nothing can destroy the roots of that friendship. Even if I were to say that I've given up, I think it still doesn't take much for me to forgive you time and again. But of course, you have to get there first and I admit, it's getting tougher and tougher to get there.

But I sure hope pupillage has made me slightly more mature in dealing with people, as in, to watch my words. You know, at certain points, it no longer hurts at all even if a person you admire so much could have been the person who had played you out. You just feel disappointed and that's it. Just like what some shows had said, love and hate is only separated by a very thin line. It's the same as admiration and absolute disappointment, I suppose. Simply because throughout the entire episode, you've only managed to make me even more motivate to excel and outshine you someday.

Come to think of it, I was actually nice enough to offer to help photocopy stuff when I heard about the sudden appearance of more documents that were not included when E drafted his document. And I wasn't even unhappy that the real work went to Y instead whilst I was just acting like an extra pair of hands. A sign of maturity perhaps?

Then again, maturity means one would deal with matters more calmly right? In which case, I think I'll still fail, given how freaked out I was by that idiot stalker just now. He's the same mad man (at least he looks like one to me, and there are so many certified ones living in my area that it's no surprise if he's one anyway) who followed me into the lift twice, refused to tell me which floor he was going, followed me out of the lift, and then hid behind that pillar to spy on where I was going. The last time, I forced him to get out of the lift first and refused to bulge until he walked a short distance across that storey, when I was running up the stairs, I turned back to check and sure enough, that idiot stalker was behind the pillar spying again. As for today, I bumped into him at Watsons.. face to face. And that's it. He kept looking and looking and refused to get out of Watsons till he realised I wasn't going to leave until he left. And so he did, walking a few steps out of Watsons. To test if I were right, I popped into MiniToons, and yes, there he was, waiting outside, a few steps away. Hoping that Reich would be working at the Hougang Popular, I walked into it (I mean, it always feels safer with guys around, even if the guy is younger than me, agree?) Of course, Reich wasn't around. By then I was just plain freaked out and the thought of entering the same lift here was just met with a huge NO in my brain. I flipped through secondary assessments, then primary ones, all the while looking up and glaring at him on and off, just to see him looking in my direction. Thankfully though he finally went off but that was already more than enough to scare me. All the way home, I had to make Weiling talk to me on the phone, just in case he suddenly appeared out of nowhere and dashed into the lift again. What kind of nervous wreck have I evolved into? This is disgusting! Stupid idiot stalker. Go away go away go away!!

Of course, having spent one paragraph typing on such frivolous matters, I must of course thank Weiling for keeping me company on the phone else I wouldn't have dared walk home, and Gary even if he couldn't walk me home. You know, it's always a very good feeling when your friends do genuinely show concern by calling back to check. So.. you are great, Gary!! And being such a great person, I'm very sure better things will come your way. It's always those who are blind and dumb who are unable to see the brillance in you and it just so happens that there are way too many such dumbos around. To the particular Mr Chan friend of mine, if you ever need a cheerleader to cheer you on (though of course not a very professional one, but, not that badly CMI though lahz..) you know where to look, k? Cause a supporting pillar does not necessary have to make noise but can always be there, yahz?

On the same note, to the Mr Speech-expert, have more confidence in yourself! Whatever the most adorable little girl says is always the truth so you have no choice but to believe her words, understand? Somehow I'm just reminded of a comprehension passage in primary school, humans are like springs, if it's not stretched, it will rust, but if it's overstretched for long periods, the elasticity will be gone. (Come to think of it, this part applies to an ex-classmate I mentioned earlier too) Anyway, I'm sure you get what I mean too, right?

Since I'm still in the mode, the person I've been calling "mummy" very often is a very capable person too, k? So, don't always be so unsure of yourself or put yourself down. Like I've mentioned to another friend above, your most adorable little girl-girl will always be around to be your cheerleader when you need the motivation.

Of course, and finally, to my favourite Vampire-VCD-lender, don't be discouraged! It's just one of the obstacles that dumb lecturers put along the way, but being the computer expert you are, you will excel and outshine the lecturers by the end of the sem! Jia you jia you!!!!!!!!! =)

Ok, I know it sounds weird to be talking to people on what is supposed to be a record of my day, but I don't and won't say such stuff directly (it just feels plain mushy and gross lahz.. or rather, I'm just not comfortable saying it in a conversation) so talking to my blog is just my indirect way of telling them I care. And, since the Legal Profession Act (I think) requires lawyers to have integrity, and integrity includes not lying, all of you can be assured that whatever I type here is of course the truth, otherwise I wouldn't dare to publish it for all to see, right? So believe me, all of you are brilliant, capable, talented in your own ways.. cause I said so! =)