There is NO such thing as a class from hell

My apologies for such a strongly worded title... Still worked up over what an ex-classmate said yesterday..

HATE those people who go round saying they're worried about how to deal with their students, cause they HEARD that one of their classes is from hell, and then contradict themselves by insisting that they are not pre-biased against the students even before starting.. Of course, there are others eg. C. Ong who goes round telling anyone who is willing to listen how the students are just pieces of shit... Was soo tempted to tell her, if your students are shit, then perhaps you are too.. Cause only shit teachers like you will produce students that you would want to call shit...

Isn't it interesting how adults LOVE to condemn people? Like YCSS teachers saying that their students are not well behaved when we went for our first mentoring sessions.. HSS teachers made their students sound like an awful bunch of kids etc.. What's wrong with our current system? Perhaps we need to SACK these teachers cause what they want is merely their pay and not to mould the future.. If there's one reason why I don't want to send kids to Singapore school, it's not because of the supposed stress, but more importantly, the standard of our teachers have dropped drastically..

Suddenly thought of the CVSS people, cause of what YZ said that pissed me off.. Bet he would label most of the classes unpleasantly, considering how much headache/voiceless afternoons i had to endure. Still, frankly, I won't consider them as horrid.. The things they do.. though irritating, but sometimes, they are cute in their way.. Not all bad students are truly bad.. what they want is merely attention.

Remember Kok Sheng running to 'capture' Robin for bullying another of their classmates and then bringing Robin to me? The time when Kar Hao 'threw a tantrum' and refused to get out when i wanted to send him out of the music room? Or the usually serious Chin Ray, waving to me across the other block, just at the very moment when i was feeling blue? Or Xiao Qiang and Weiquan scampering about my class? The time when Wenzhao wanted to help me get the Malay boys quiet, but in the end incurred their wrath and I had to protect him instead? The noise-making lessons of 2B, 2C.. Yiyu climbing chairs and getting scolded by me... or Yeow Kiat's perfect behaviour in MY class.. Or simply, witnessing Chee Siong and Nicholas changing from mischievous ones to studious students.. Weiming and Meng Wee sportingly performing their Zhao Cai Mao...

No doubt they did give me loads of headache... in fact, I always feel like fainting after Monday and Wed lessons.. Yet, I looked forward to these days too.. In fact, I really do miss those days, even if I had to scold, shout day in day out... They were really adorable.. really.. all of them.. They are the ones who could chase away my blues.. just the sight of them..

There's really no one awful student.. Just a lack of understanding and ability to communicate with the students..

I won't mind re-living those times again..

PS: In case you happen to chance upon this, YZ, this is just an official warning that you will be officially IGNORED until further notice... This is just a blatant note, in case you fail to detect others ie. my.. displeasure..

Character Traits of Guys that one should steer clear from

1. Gamblers. That includes those who bet a small amount each time. You'll never know what incorrect stuff they teach younger ones. The more easily influenced kids may even take the wrong path!

2. Guys that make gals cry. (Like what I usually say, though politically wrong, once a bad guy always a bad guy)

3. Suspicious guys. Well, unless you LOVE being restricted in everything you do, and then end up with no friends...

4. Petty/ Stingy. That pretty much ties in with the 1st point. Gamblers are USUALLY petty/stingy.

5. MCP. If you are going to throw away your money, the least you could do is NOT complain/verbally abuse your spouse and children for their ability to EARN MONEY (believe me, no one LOVES going out to work and having to withstand other people's tempers) In case you are wondering, your spouse and children ARE capable of earning their own money, paying for travelling expenses including yours. So if you want to shout the whole flat down to let the whole world know how capable they are, so be it! And don't go round blaming your spouse for not being able to control your spending habits when in the first place, you'll cause another explosion IF your spouse tries to do that..

6. Guys who borrow money from their other half, and better still, dare to still scold/shout at the gal with regards to that sum. (That's why i couldn't be bothered anymore when you refused to listen to my advice, J. Believe me, it's a recipe for disaster)

7. Loudspeakers cum parrots. Remember, get a guy who has a softer voice than you... then your ear drums won't burst.. and your headache won't be aggravated.

8. Those who LOVE non-living things more than living things. Those who are plain selfish, doesn't care even if the rest of the world is unwell/unhappy etc. All they think of is ME.. Me.. ME!

9. Suspicious. ALL humans are entitled to mix with others, including you. Having good friends doesn't mean they like others more than you. Not BARKING the whole place down doesn't mean they are talking behind your back, well, unless you think you deserve it..

10. Guys with family history of madness and have a perchant for vulgarities (basically includes everyone, not only to guys, I guess. From my experience, madness/craziness IS hereditary..)

Yupz.. that's basically all... for now.. Till I think of more, tata~

Disclaimer.. I mean Claimer w/o the Dis: In case anyone wonders, quit wondering, YES, it does have something to do with what happened, but don't worry, I'm fine.. albeit from having a temperature fluctuating between 37.1 and 37.2... severe headache... and other cold symptoms...

2 down, 1 to go!!

yupz, just like what the title says, Aviation and Insurance papers are over, just one more Copyright paper to go!

While most people are happy that the sem is coming to an end soon, once again, I feel a tinge of yi1 yi1 bu4 she3.. imagine I was actually going to drop Aviation during the 'fishing' period.. Luckily I didn't... the module is now ranked as my FAVOURITE module, and so is the lecturer.. (okiez, which brings my favourite tutors in school to 3 now!) Somehow, the tutors actually play a part in making me actually ENJOY my revision.. Nevertheless, old habits die hard.. My apologies for turning in rather trashing assignments, with the exception of Insurance, this sem (Greatest apologies to Prof Wei esp.. Somehow, just knew that my Copyright assignment was atrocious, even w/o checking my grades.. ) Which reminds me that I am still NOT going to check my grades YET...

(ok, this part might sound arrogant, but believe me, it's not meant to be) Now that i've only a year left in school, realised that i should have actually added slightly more effort to study, and make friends.. the study part esp.. afterall, like what my mum says, i'm actually quite smart, just plain lazy.. i mean, if i can garner a B for my 8 credit copyright just by studying HARD one day before my paper when i skipped about 80% of the lectures, i could have done decently in my 3 years in law school.. unlike now, when i've to think of how i should react in interviews.. (that is, if they grant me interviews in the first place) Sadly though, even though i know i can do ok by making a bit more effort, it's so much xin1 you3 yu2 and li4 bu4 zu2...

of course, the BEST part was, i almost didn't go for my aviation paper on Tues!! Kept having the FALSE impression that 13th = Wednesday, so much so that i cancelled today's tuition, so that i could study for my insurance paper the next day.. Thankfully, i had a weird feeling at 1am on 13th, and decided to check the date on my handphone.. Imagine my SHOCK when i realised it was the 13th!!!!!! Phew, I've 95% finished my aviation, thankfully and my Warsaw, Montreal 1999 Conventions.. The only lacking was glancing through my Rome Convention (thanks to the 1929 authors who did such a 'good; job that most countries refused to ratify or have already denounced it and so it's rendered almost not important) and my Chicago Convention (but the 5 freedoms are already imprinted in my brain) and the Tokyo (no thanks to Sept 11, this question came out and I'm pretty sure my answer went out of point) and Cape Town Convention.. Still, I hope i did justice to my love for the module... since i'm only pretty sure I did very well for the 1st question, but not so for the 2nd.. *keep fingers crossed that Prof Tan will give more weightage to the 1st paper..*

Still, thanks Tim, for trying to calm me down through sms-es.. else my adrenaline level would be even higher, resulting in a greater extent of insomia... =)

Nevertheless (realised i kept using nevertheless, further, however in my essays today.... time to use a thesaurus...) the adrenaline level was still high yesterday, considering that all focus seemed to be on my pet module even though like what Weiling pointed out, insurance is my 8-credit module, unlike aviation which only counts for 4-credit... Of course, not forgetting, I better get some decent grades to send to NTUC Income, can you imagine a potential future legal officer with a awful grade in insurance? And I won't dare to face Vincent Yeo.. yah? But i managed to revise through thoroughly (okiez.. it's in my opinion.. so according to Economides case, all i need is honest opinion with some basis for that opinion.. doesn't matter whether it's reckless or not)...

Which reminds me, I'm getting dumber these days.. To think I heard Prof Tan wrongly (hee... the microphone to be blamed.. there's something wrong with it... it's almost inaudible...) and thought that we started earlier and our paper would end 15 minutes earlier than stipulated. 90% finished my 1st question at 1015, panicked cause I realised I had only 1 hour left and so starting speeding up.. then 20minutes before the actual end of my paper, when I was 85%, some niggling thought made me check the whiteboard. True enough, we started the paper 5 minutes later than stipulated, so it's supposed to end 5 minutes later.. How 'smart' of me.....

Nevertheless, the paper was GOOD.. for the 1st time in 3 years, I actually finished my paper to my own satisfaction.. couldn't say i was totally satisfied given that i could have churned out an even more thorough paper, but it was still good.. Wonder if Prof Yeo had something against bungee jumping.. Haha.. her hypothetical was soo long and just as I've guessed (actually, it was obvious, otherwise there wouldn't be any claims and she can't set much of a question) there was to be a horrific accident.. Prof Poh's essay was nice and short... and as he said, was more seminar-friendly style.. Now, let's hope that I gather something ok for this to show Income...

Exams!
Here's my exam timetable... Better remember it.. To think I thought the afternoon paper starts at 2pm..

LLA4024 - Aviation Law and Policy Moot Court Seat 32 13/04/2004 9:00 AM
LLB4069 - Insurance Law Eusoff Hall Function Room Seat 99 14/04/2004 9:00 AM
LLA4100 - Topics in Copyright and Design Moot Court Seat 56 21/04/2004 1:00 PM


Sigh.. Topics in Copyright Assignment should be out.... don't dare to check, so I'm not checking..

Aviation Assignment is out too... just read Alan Tan's email... don't dare to check either..

Beginning to think that I've no guts to check all my personally-feel-not-so-well-done assignments..

I'm really sorry, Mr Yeo, but I really am not as good as you all think... Don't dare to go back to face you all... yet at the same time, it'll be good to have a job...

Here's a song that I love... I mean the lyrics especially... So apt...
If only I could get my hands on the cd.. sigh..


青春的故事
曲：Iskandar Ismail | 词：郑华娟

家里到课堂 永远迟到慌张 成绩单要往哪里藏
不要批评我的智商 有太多期望 想带着玩具 到处流浪

年轻的心中 有太多事不懂 努力 和全世界沟通
或许 随时让你脸红 快乐 是彼此容忍的心胸

美丽的恋曲 发生在漫画里 熬夜K 书 梦不到你
虽然我正值青春期 却很讲道理
约会就说要去补习 成长的难处 我们一起克服
埋怨 只教人更孤独 不管 梦想如何离谱
关心 是鼓励唯一的路途

别以为我不在乎 面无表情叫做酷
如果你还愿意 听我倾诉 温柔地 做我心灵守护

困难一起克服 埋怨 只教人更孤独
不管 梦想如何离谱 关心 是鼓励唯一的路途

成长的道路 通往勇敢国度

Time Changes Everything?
It's amazing how 10 years can cause a person to switch from one extreme to another..

This time 10 years ago, the Singapore soccer team was still playing in the Malaysia Premier League, and they had a fan in this girl who would following their matches fervently, yes, even more fervently than her schoolwork.

10 years later, the Singapore soccer team played against Japan. This time round, the girl had finally given up on the national team after being disappointed time and again over the 9 years. No longer did she jump for joy at seeing Indra scoring a goal against the stronger Japan team, or wince at the sight of the first goal scored by Takahara. Instead, things went in the reverse. Interestingly, the first 11 couldn't be considered to have changed greatly, considering that more than 10% (Nazri Nasir and Aide Iskandar)belonged to the team that she loved so much..

So why the change?

It is common for people to say that time heals wounds. Actually, time doesn't directly heal wounds. It's more of a change of perception, a change of angle at viewing a situation that makes people think that the wound has been healed.

10 years.. No doubt changes are bound to happen, yet some things never change.. a good match by the national team still continues to make the girl's day.. only that now, it no longer totally overrides her obligation to her schoolwork..

Unlike others who were surprised by the good performance of our national team and saw the glimmer of hope, I saw nothing surprising in their performance on Wednesday night. It is NORMAL for the Lions to outperform themselves when they're the underdogs, and 'out-disgrace' themselves when they're touted to win.

So until the national team proves that they are capable of unwavering grit and determination, the 1994 team will continue to live on as the girl's 'Dream Team'..


Disclaimer: This article is merely inspired by the Singapore-Japan match where Singapore was beaten 1-2. It does NOT reflect the author's mood in anyway. =)

Turning Back Time (Part II)

Let's see.. Stopped at 1st three months life yesterday..

As I was saying, I won't have changed my decision to to go to the same school.. The people I met there, some have left everlasting impressions.. impressions that still remain even after my forced-blocking of memory back in jc.. Doubt I'll have a senior anywhere else who would have reminded me to speak up.. To whoever you are, thanks a lot.. You know, you were the first and only person who actually told me that.. Thanks for being such an optimistic character... Though we don't really know each other, but some of the things you said were really of great wisdom.. Thanks for making a GREAT role model, and of course, thanks for the packet of biscuits when I was really down.. I was really really touched at that time..

Of course, there's one thing that needs changing too... like I've said before, I would have learnt to treasure my friends more... Lijia, I know you made a great friend, yet, I didn't really know how to treasure the friendship till years later...

NJC Life: Used to ask myself, would things have been very different had I followed that senior's advice and appealed to go into Arts stream instead.. Afterall, whatever that I'm studying now doesn't really require any Science knowledge either, right?

But, no.. I still love Biology, still love Physics... still love Science basically, even if my knowledge of them sux.. and no.. though there was a possibility that I could continue to indulge in the friendships I made there, but frankly, the friends I made at NJ... and the various memories... are things that I'll simply not exchange.. Even if I hated a number of things in NJ... cause all these memories and friends more than adequately made up for the unhappy stuff...

And if it weren't for my awful grades, I won't have enrolled into TMC in anticipation of doing awfully in A levels, and won't have known a bunch of people like Joanne, Jon, Itak, Darmaji, right? Was fun being the top in the class almost all the time, and doing crazy stuff with Joanne and Grace, even if Grace pissed me off quite a bit towards the end. But, Itak and Darmaji, thanks for being really great korkors.. thanks for cheering me up when I was down, and giving me loads of encouragement, then and now... though I wonder how's Darmaji doing now.. Hey, what on earth happened to you? You disappeared!?! Still, really miss the late night chats/sms-es...

BUT of course, one never learns to appreciate things until they're not present.. Ever notice that the one thing that I regret most throughout the various stages in life is not treasuring people?

Turning Back Time

Wasn't kidding when I sms-ed that as my wish when the DJ asked listeners to call in with their wishes..

When young, time seemed to pass slowly, especially during the holidays, so much so that I'll even end up dreaming about school. Yet now, time seemed to slip away from my hands and only when it's out of my reach do i attempt to grasp it to no avail..

If I were to turn back time, what would I change?

Primary School Life: Would I want to work harder and be less of a die-hard fan of our Lions in the M'sia Cup? Probably if I had worked even harder, I might have gotten higher grades.. Then again, probably not. In any case, I'll never trade my beautiful memories for better grades. Remember the goal that Man Hon scored against Kedah, that I didn't get to see? Or Steven Tan's superb goal that allowed us to beat Pahang at the very last moment? The time when Tong Hai marked John Hunter perfectly, and John Hunter broke down after losing the match? Or that Brunei's goalkeeper, Ian Gray's rice bowl hair-style? With approximately 2 matches per week, there was always something to look forward to..

Of course, how could I ever forget our name calling? With Miss Wong out of the class for a moment, leaving us to do our umpteenth test, across the class conversations like "Ehz, Saswa, how to do question 19?" Or the mere mention of the number 15 or 8 would make Winnie and I turn to each other instinctively.. Or even better still, Mdm Kok standing outside Miss Wong's class, saying "tong xue men, xie zhuo wen shi qing bu yao yong ou xiang de ming zi, ru guo fu cheng, lin dong hai.. " And who could forget Winnie shouting over the fence "Hello Tong Hai!"

Nope, I'll never want to change that...


Secondary School Life: Perhaps if I really needed to change, it'll definitely start with my secondary school life. For one thing, I would have been more conscientious about my work, I guess.. Without proper foundation, the whole of sec sch plus jc studying life was tough..

Friends wise, I would learn to treasure them too.. Realised that Yanxiang and I stopped keeping in contact by the time we got to sec 2.. and it was only in sec 4 when she had an accident that I saw her again.. and by then, we were really very much like strangers.. Perhaps we weren't really that that close in primary school too.. Insensitive me never realise that many of the stuff that Yanxiang did seemed to be accomodating me.. Her interest in soccer in pri 6 was mainly due to me too.. Still remember once I forgot to do Mdm Kok's homework, and was totally freaked out.. Yanxiang offerred me her hw during Miss Wong's class, and kept helping me keep a look out.. Yanxiang, even though we aren't that good friends anymore, I'm really really thankful to have had you as my closest friend in class, allowing us to call you "Man Hon", showing an interest in whatever I was interested in, and basically giving in to me.. Thank you for being a really great friend.. really.. and I really do miss the times when we had so much to say...

1st 3 months life: On hindsight, would I have chosen RJC again if I knew I would end up in NJC later on and suffer much heartbreak due to the uprooting? Perhaps if I had gone to NJ right at the beginning, I would have continued to be a happy person, who would not be soo depressed and give up on herself, which led to my dismal grades throughout the 2 years..

BUT, the only thing I would have chosen to do if I could turn back time is to not forcibly block out the entire 3 months worth of memory.. Come to think of it, those were beautiful times too.. and my forced forgettery only served to leave a huge vacuum in my life now (yes.. interestingly, I really can't remember 95% of the things that happened already.. )

Yet, if I had not gone to RJ, I wouldn't have known all the interesting personalities there.. Derrick, HRM, IL, Lijia.. My closest friend throughout the entire jc life, and the person i trusted most then, was from RJ... Without that friend's neverending encouragement, I won't have reached where I am today.. Thanks for your various treats in order to entice me to do better.. and the letter-writings during A levels.. You know, when you didn't do that well, and felt upset that you couldn't get into the faculty that you wanted to go to, I felt upset and totally guilty too.. If only i hadn't bother you during the exams.. if only my 'good luck' had worked as well as yours did.. Perhaps if I could turn back time, and had magically powers, I would have gladly exchanged my 'A's for your 'B's.. in that way, you would be able to get into med fac, and fulfilled your childhood dream, right? perhaps you would have become a more confident you, instead of the doubtful you that you are now.. Perhaps I would not have felt totally hurt at the words you uttered that showed clearly your discontentment at me being in this fac now.. Perhaps I would then not have doubted whether you were truly a friend, since someone else told me that a friend would NEVER want his/her friend to do worse.. Perhaps it's cause of all the things that have transpired, that I really truly want to know if i was a good friend to you, or merely another person who's lousy grades boost your ego, and one whom you'll feel less inferior to..

Changes

"Once you are old, you no longer have the liberty to say you don't know how to do things. Nor can you blame youthfulness for your faults. Children want to grow up quickly, yet adults want to slow down ageing. People seem to prefer the state they are NOT in."

How true. And that coming from a DJ whom I've detested since young. Happened to be station-hopping as usual. Quite unlike her to say such brainful stuff. But yes, she did, on her very last day of being on air.

Actually, she wasn't the only one whose voice I'll no longer chance upon the air waves. The other DJ who is leaving that station happened to be one of the rare ones whom I actually enjoyed listening to. Now, I doubt I'll ever tune in to that station, well, unless the songs elsewhere are really awful, and I don't have the luxury of having my CDs with me. But truth be said, I'll miss that familiar voice.

There are 3 types of people on earth - those who love changes, those who hate them, and those who are neutral. Unfortunately, I belong to 2nd group. The ones who become too emotionally attached to their surroundings.

Throughout our lives, all of us have to face numerous changes, some big, some small. Schools, friends, living environment or even our own belongings. Each of these has seen our smiles, tears and laughters. In primary school, we believe that there's such a thing called 'forever', then in secondary school, we continue to cross our fingers in hope that 'forever' does exist. But, slowly, the understanding that 'forever' is just like the fairy tales that we've heard when we were younger begins to sink in gradually. Sometimes, it's time to let go, yet some of us still can't bear to do so. Or worse, we realised that we've never cherished whatever we had until we've lost it, and then we begin to regret.

Makes one wonder if we gain or lose more during this growing up process.

Blinded by emotions

People usually say, love is blind. So far, I don't think anyone has disagreed with this.

For a little kid, the blanket/soft toy could be his comfort ground. Wherever he goes, the item would follow. That is, even if adults comment that the item is smelly, dirty, disgusting, whatsoever. To the kid, it is more of "Who Cares?" The soft toy though of a tinge of grey, still looks far from dirty. The blanket, sure it does have a smell, but to them, the smell is calming.

As we grow older, we begin to have friends. Friends whom we love to be with. Ever had a time when a so-called good friend betrayed your trust, but in the end, for some weird reasons, both of you are still friends? I've always thought that it is not quite possible. Afterall, a mirror once broken, even when glued back, will still have the lines of cracks clearly evident. Yet, there have been real life instances which have proved me wrong. Take for example, the story of X and Y. Y stole X's keys, and together with 2 other friends, stole from X's place and were caught. One would think that X would steer clear from Y. Yet, X continued to be Y's good friend for quite a while. Unbelievable, but true.

Of course, not all examples are this extreme. Two different people, a close friend and another just a friend, doing the same thing to hurt you. Who would you be more willing to forgive? No doubt, the hurt coming from the 1st instance would be greater. BUT, it usually diminishes more quickly too.

Now, why do I write about this?

Had a call yesterday. "You know, F's boyfriend came to Singapore recently and she bought him so many things. She even got him a handphone." All this, on top of the fact that she had 'sponsored' him quite a bit when he wanted to start some business last year. One would have imagine F being rather young, simple minded and highly trusting. Truth is, F is outgoing, rather popular, and somewhat accomplished in her field of work. Being a person who is normally observant and analytical, her actions are somewhat unthinkable..

Who says love is not blind?

Losing before cherishing...

"He is really dead" Reading and re-reading this line, somehow, even though I didn't know who Mr Ho was, I could still feel his students', past (including my sis) and present, sense of loss..

Sis didn't really said she felt down, yet, from her actions and what she said, I could feel the tinge of sadness, disbelief, shocked. And yes, the glimmer of hope yesterday when the photo wasn't really clear.. all that ended with that line of sms..

People around us, we seem to take for granted that they'll be there.. it's only when incidents happen to others, that one begins to sit up, appreciate them, and after a while.. lose that momentum again..

Just like me.

I guess I would have been devastated if something had happened to anyone I cared about.. The friends whom I instinctively sms-ed some forwarded stuff yesterday.. Funny.. I always thought forwarded sms-es are totally insincere and would have avoided forwarding them.. Yet, at times when I just wanted to let those who matter know that I didn't forget them, forwarded stuff are so much easier.. Just imagine if I typed something personal.. They would have been horrified!

Hate to let others in on my emotions.. As I grow older, I finally realised the wisdom in JianPing's quote from his teachers. At times, I just don't know whether I should just give others the benefit of the doubt or otherwise.. Yet, those whom my 6th sense tell me that cannot be totally trusted, have yet to prove me wrong... and those whom I willingly trusted, some have proved me wrong..

Of course, there are many others who don't belong in those groups too.. Koon, Itak, Jianping, Potato, Honghui.. These are the people who are still able to change a rainy mood to a sunny one just by appearing, whether through sms, icq, or simply just in person.. Yet, I doubt they've ever realised that they've such capabilities.. well, if any of you chance upon this, I really want to say 'thank you' truly.. I guess the front that I put up daily is but a mere front.. without you all, I doubt I'd have ever been where I am today..

And, there are also those friends whom one was really really close to, and then just 'poof', there's this huge wall between you. 'True friends would never want the other to be worse off' True? I don't know. But I know, that once you've treated someone as your very close friend, it's difficult, if not impossible to demote the person to a mere stranger.. esp when they were once my greatest pillars of strength too.. GX, DT.. am I one of their good friends still? I don't know... truly, I wish I do, but I don't...

Yet, I know for sure, if anything were to befall on these friends, my world will DEFINITELY crash...