原来...

最不相信友情的人是自己.

失去后才能去真正懂得去珍惜和拥有

From high olympus flows to us the glory
On us the sacred fire descends
Rise sisters rise the world is all before ye
Fear not to grasp what fortunes sends*

A little while the sun shines high above us
And youth's elixir fills our veins
The magic fire that moves that gods to love us
The fire which the will attains*

So heart to heart we'll scale the heights of learning
No mean desires our day shall shame
Wholehearted, true, with pride and ardour burning
On sisters, on to life and fame*

* Sisters in learning and sisters at heart
Life lies before us, here's luck to the start

******

In case any one had to wonder, I didn't turn up for the 10th year gathering today. Even though the bus I took went past the all so familiar building, and when it did, the all so familiar feeling of standing under the hot sun, waiting for the bus at the bus stop after school came flooding back. The magic of the first time walking through the school gate, and past the Athena statute remained clear, just like the memory of how we bumped into Meisi on 21 December 1994 when we were reporting to our soon-to-be school.

Ten years on, I'm still not ready to face my ex-classmate/schoolmate. Ironically, despite all that fierceness/bitchiness, I still lack the confidence to feel less self conscious amongst a whole bunch of high flyers.

If I had the chance to choose again, would Dunman High have been a better choice? Or could I have worked harder, be less self conscious, make more effort to be sociable so that secondary school would not just be a memory?

Then again, things change with the flux of time. People whom you were once close to may now be people you don't really want to meet. For instance, Joanne. Or just strangers. For instance, another friend of mine. Gek Koon's certainty that I would turn up for a classmate's event made it even clearer that what would have been a given years ago may not be so now. Just like in Physics, when two objects move in tandem, no change is detected. On the contrary, when two objects have different velocity, it is almost impossible not to detect the difference.

Still, I'm thankful still for friends who remain the world to me even over the years. Just having Itak da ge and Koon online last Wednesday was sufficient to cheer me up immensely, and make me bounce/jump/skip everywhere. We may have more or less lost touch, just like how it took me a year before I realised Itak is now a teacher, but it doesn't make me feel any less warm just by your presence online. 时间能让事情兜兜转转， 但兜兜转转过后仍会发现避风港始终屹立不倒。也许，在内心深处的一角，我也永远都不希望失去这些我所谓温暖的阳光吧。

PS: 正因为朋友是缺一不可的，Guohui, 你可要早日康复哦! 加油！

Was it just me or did 五月天 sound flat today?

For once, I'm impressed by Mediacorp. Despite my less than zero interest in Superband, I still sat through almost two hours (I skipped the earlier parts) just to wait for their 宣传大使 to perform. As predicted, they were the 压轴 performers. Still, I thought they sounded flat today, and at one point, I thought 阿信 sang out of tune. In fact, I felt Beyond did a better job, and wished they had sang more, or at least include their 光辉岁月 instead. After their performance, I'm actually slightly even more tempted to watch their concert. Gosh..

******

Just like how 五月天 seemed off colour to me on tv today, the places I went for dinner last night was slightly disappointing too. The food at Yumeya felt different, and not as breathtaking. Similarly, when we "migrated" over to the restaurant I went with Mr Tan just a few weeks back, we were not that impressed either. First, we ended up in the bar area, since their air conditioning was down at the restaurant part. The grilled food was served cold too. Still, the worse was the lobster that wasn't fully cooked. When it came back to us, the waitress from China took pains to explain that the lobster had been changed, but couldn't come up with a less lame excuse of how the lobster meat no longer filled the entire lobster shell. Oh well.

A moment's silence for the passing of a respectable opposition

In a country where fire-brand oppositions usually appear to be more concerned about getting their face in papers (and behaving like circus animals) [in my humble opinion], one such man stood out for his belief and passion for his nation. Unlike some others who opposed merely for the sake of opposing, few could fault him for being more concerned about personal fame than his beliefs for the good of his country, for if the former were true, it would have been way easily to just stay on the ground after each fall (or possibly whine to any sympathisers in hope of gaining more sympathy).

Yet, this was the guy whom many of us have "bumped into" outside MRT stations, shopping centres etc, peddling his book with signs of his age, and possibly a tinge of weariness showing. I can't say for others, but each time I saw the look in his eyes and how everyone seemed to shuttle past whilst ignoring/avoiding his presence, I couldn't help but feel sorry for this guy. At his age, he could have been happily retired at home, enjoying the fruit of his labours in the early years. But for the sake of what he believed in, he became a bankrupt at an age when people would be planning or even enjoying retirement. Instead of resting in the comforts of his home and indulging his passions, he was sidetracked and out there probably doing what he could to get back on track once again. Regretfully, I never once bought a book from this pitiful old man, even though I would normally have bought those packets of tissues/draw tickets from the other elderly I see. Gutless? Perhaps. I was just no different from the others who were shuttling past.

It's such a pity that after all his efforts of getting out of bankruptcy and then getting his licence to practise once again, his time was up, just like that. In fact, he didn't even have the chance to conduct a notable case, as yet. That would have at least justified all his efforts, but no, it wasn't meant to be. And I wasn't meant to read about it in the papers either.

Perhaps like what some say, at least he didn't leave this world as a bankrupt. In any case, for all that passion in your beliefs, for your want of the betterment of the nation and your fellow Singaporeans(regardless whether everyone agreed with your views or not), for being a stayer rather than a quitter, you deserve our utmost respect.

Rest well, Mr Jeyaratnam, for you'll be remembered as being one of those who played a significan role in the history of the politics in our country

Interested, anyone?

Just noticed the latest update on SAL events: http://www.sal.org.sg/Web%20Pages/SAL%20Events/Events_SocialEvents.aspx. I didn't realise Avenue Q's that expensive. Hmm.. And I'm still interested in The Office Party and Tooth Fairy (Mr Tan?)...

Sounds like I need to be more discerning..

PS: Congrats, Mr Tan! =)

简单的幸福

Question: When is falling sick not that bad an event?

Answer: When you get to feel concern from the people around you.

Granted, the above must sound extremely silly to most people. One of my friend's friend had this comment on her nick since eons ago "幸福到底有多远?" Perhaps it's just me, but 幸福 is just a measure of content. You do not need superbly high and difficult to attain goals. Sometimes, the simplest things may just be the key to feeling 幸福.

Just like how I'm content with the two packets of sweets from Jan when I was supposedly coughing terribly. Or LiJia's sms. Or Weiguang's observation that I was "missing" on msn. These things may not be worth much in monetary terms, but it still leaves a lingering sweet aftertaste

The sweets from Jan. Not forgetting the cute chocolates from Weiguang too! =)

Can't remember when I first heard the phrase "休息是为了走更远的路" but this short break has definitely given me time to recharge and feel a lot lighter (though I'm not sure if this will disappear the moment I step into office again tomorrow.. haha).

As I've admitted to some of my friends, I was somehow more keen about my lunch than the other matter when I had to turn up at "z-moon" today. There are some people whom you can chat with without divulging much more about yourself, and then there are others whose presence is enough to bring endless smiles. Maybe I'm just useless, but each time I think that we've already become less close over the years, I'll still end up feeling highly recharged, a lot "lighter" each time after we meet up. 拥有好友的陪伴，这，也是一种简单的幸福吧！

The 帅哥 who bought me lunch

It's funny how you tend to think that you prefer something beforehand, but later on, you realise that you're actually more keen on another thing. Despite my reservations about "z-moon" (other than my lunch lah) and my interest in "the hill", at the end of the day, what piped my interest more was actually "z-moon". No doubt the scope at "the hill" sounded way more glam (and it might actually fulfill my "daydream"). Somehow I felt "z-moon" sounded more exciting. Still, you never know till the last minute, and well, like I mentioned to the 帅哥, I had my reservations about "z-moon" too. Nevertheless, just like the earlier experiences, I've learnt lessons through the experiences today, making the day relatively worthwhile (ignoring the lunch again, cause that's besides the point, for now). In fact, one thing that the lady at "the hill" said was the need of experience and independance, something which I would have to bear in mind in deciding my future food suppliers. And of course, I need to bear in mind "z-moon"'s comment on the constant changing of food suppliers will just lead to indigestion.

Let's just see how things go. Time to 回到地球表面 and deal with furballs tomorrow!

Cough Day 5

Periodic bouts of intense coughing. A hoarse voice.

Sajlia(?) left a message on my facebook, about some RGS 10 year reunion. Can't even think of who I'm actually close enough to in RGS to want to turn up for the reunion. But I ended up "spying" on those ex schoolmates and it's mostly those I don't really want to see. Haha..

On another note, I thought Lijia and Ryan's school uniform photos are nice! But then... did you guys really keep all your uniforms?!?!

Stubborn-ness

"It's a bit crazy. But not unlike you!"

Seriously, thanks ar, LiJia, I don't know whether that's a compliment or an insult =p

Still, Yaofang being Yaofang, she'll always be able to come up with something that's a little off "normal". Take for instance yesterday. Despite having a slightly more aggravated cough, I still agreed to watch "Boom" with my favourite Mr Tan.

Not that I regret though. The "corpse" was really good. In fact, my favourite parts were all those involving the corpse and Mr Government. Whilst the corpse was funny, "Mr Government" was sincerely... earnest. All in all, the chemistry between them felt better than the son and the mum.

Lest you think that's the extent of my "non sane-ness", we ended up having dinner at this Japanese restaurant somewhere nearby till pretty late. The grilled food was especially nice, if only I wouldn't cough that much. And it was pretty fun sitting at the glass panel over looking the chefs too.

Chefs hard at work.

We even had the opportunity to watch the restaurant staff having supper(?). Note: Quite a number of them were squatting so that we wouldn't see them eating

Not forgetting to mention, their desserts were nice too! (Though I didn't really like the egg pudding as much.) The soya bean panacotta was smoother and richer than the usual soy beancurd and the macha tiramisu was more tiramisu than macha (unlike some other similarly named tiramisu elsewhere).

With good company, good entertainment and good food all rolled into one evening, who's to say that going out whilst tolerating that irritating cough of mine is a bit too crazy?

PS: To the friend who "complained" about the lack of photos in my blog, this entry should sort of placate you, right? *grinz*

Bondbreakers Lunch

Well, at least that was how Beng Chye started naming it. Although technically, it's not totally apt since we had lunch with Irene, Theng Theng, Joyce and Doris too.

It's obvious how irritating my cough is when I'm not bubbly even at the prospect of going for the lunch. This, considering how I could still bounce up and down in excitement when I first noticed Beng Chye's name as the other side's lawyers despite running a fever.

Anyway, after 久仰 Beng Chye's 大名 for so long, it's nice to finally be able to meet the famed Income scholar in person.

On a side note, Guohui's fever supposedly hasn't subsided since Sunday. Not a good sign. Hope he gets better soon.

远水就不了近火

很久很久以前，有一个毫不起眼的桌面。这桌面看起来稳固，事实上，它的平稳却是与桌的四只脚紧紧相系。过了不久，这四只脚个别被用于其他地方。桌面为了要表现坚强，努力地继续当一个有用的桌面，甚至拼命的做一个比一般巩固的桌面，殊不知桌面越拼，其实也只不过是在让自己本来就不坚固的个体变得更加脆弱。最脆弱的那一刻，桌面总忍不住怀念过去那四只脚，盼望着能再次回到拥有四只脚支撑自己的那段日子。。。

******

Mr Chan, 谢谢你！Think it's the 2nd time I've dragged you out like this, only that this time, I don't think I can be a delivery girl the following day, just to show my gratitude. =p 在这样的一天，就是需要一个距离不远又能依靠的朋友，才能在绵绵细雨的夜晚里增添一点儿暖意. Thanks, Mr Chan! =)

The best tranquilisers in life are...

My friends.

Despite me blowing my top from the incompetence and lousy attitude of my secretary, lunch with a friend calmed me down significantly and brought the smile back on my face. Whatever will I do without my friends?

Much as you'll never see this, Thanks, Lenz!

A short prayer

I know I'm not exactly the most pious person on earth, but dear all gods, please protect my friends and family from any harm. I'm willing to be good, to not lose my cool at all when that secretary of mine does (or doesn't do) anything to make me lose my cool. So please gods?

On another note, even if I'm not the closest of friends with Guohui, the moment I heard what Irene said, I had this sudden fear that he'll be like Meisi. I know I make the worst friend on earth (I haven't even visited Meisi in almost a year) but it doesn't make me any less protective of the people I call friends, so please don't let any of my friends come to any harm, please?

Update: Phew.. Guohui's sister says he's recovering, though no visitors at the moment. Do hope he's really doing fine!

The "Orange Juice" Wedding

For a person who hates socialising and is self conscious, attending wedding dinners is usually a painful affair to be avoided as much as possible. Truth be told, a huge part of me was really reluctant to attend Daphne's wedding because I dread seeing my ex classmates/schoolmates like Jamie, Kailing. Not so much because I didn't like them, but more of, I felt self conscious, even at the thought of possibly sitting with them.

Whatever the case, I don't know whether me ending up with a table of her parents' church friends and her family's Chinese tutor was a better thing. Not that I saw any of the sec 4/3 people either. The only person I recognised was in fact Francis, whom I saw from afar, and immediately walked in another direction. I thought the person helping with the photography was Derrick's good friend from S03J, but couldn't remember his name at first. Up till now, I still haven't figured out whether that guy was indeed Kah Hee (Err... not sure if his name is even spelt this way!) Food wise, it was not too bad. If fact, we even had exotic food like ostrich meat, though it was quite a waste that the table was only half filled.

In any case, at least I've made it through another wedding dinner. More importantly, I'm glad Daphne has found someone who has as clear an aim in life as she does, and someone who loves her that much (the story about the bottle of orange juice each morning was really sweet) and whom she loves as dearly too. Congrats Daphne! May you have a really blissful marriage and a really happy married life!

PS: Much as I dread wedding dinners because of the need to socialise, MingHui, jia you, yah? Haha... that goes for all the other friends who mean a lot to me too...

Happiness = Meeting up with friends you hold dear

If you happen to be in need of a dose of a happy movie, you may just want to consider watching "Boys over Flowers" (seriously, I can't figure out why the English title is as such.. anyone care to enlighten me?). Whilst there wasn't much of a plot, and each part was pretty predictable, it's still a feel good movie to watch on a bright Saturday afternoon.

In any case, thanks for the movie treat, Mr Ho! I hope your headache got better. Remember to look after yourself!!

Common sense?

If your boss tabs certain pages in a particular file for your to photocopy, do you remove the tabs before you photocopy?

I would have thought that was common sensical, but apparently not. Someone took off the tab, pasted it at a corner of the document, and photocopied the document with the tab. It's not just 1 document, but one plus arch files worth of documents. And I'm still waiting for the others that were given to her like some 2 weeks ago.

Mental note: I need to tell her to take the tabs away and not paste it anywhere in the document when photocopying next time. Just like how I need to tell her to make sure the papers are aligned nicely before punching holes. I wonder if it's just me, or I really do have a "brilliant" graduate secretary. Nevermind, shall look forward to having dinner with Cailing this evening instead.

Thanks, Ms Tan!

Thanks for the sweets in the mail! I suppose that's my children's day present for this year =p

Still, thanks!! *grinz*

It takes many rights to right a single wrong

Despite suggestions from certain camps that I should live and let live, I choose to take action against the errant one. Those who truly know me would know what clear segregation I have for my likes and hates. Besides, do I need to get killed/hurt before I lodge a complaint? One wrong yesterday simply rewrote all my earlier experiences, making me one nervous wreak again. So why would it be non justifiable that the errant one be punished for his wrong? Yes, so I still think one time is still one time too many to play with my (not of much value) life.

That aside, lately, I realised a lot of wrongs require more than just a simple right to correct. Despite the influx of time, certain shadows will always remain.

Have you ever had friendship which you thought meant quite a bit to you, only to realise suddenly that things have changed overtime just because of a wrong? I never really noticed how significant certain (minor) events are, until certain conversation make me realise how much less the friend means to you. That one incident, sparked off by the lack of courtesy from a friend's friend (yes, she's NOT my friend) is probably the trigger to the irreparable damage. Even if you've never noticed it, I've never regarded her as my friend. My politeness was only because she was your friend. Still, I chose (brainlessly) to lend her something, only to have to publicise it on the world wide web before she would get you to arrange for me to meet her to get my stuff back. All this while without an apology. To top things off, you arranged so that I had to meet her at a place of HER convenience just to get MY things back after that million and one years. I doubt you remember, but you, in that fateful phone call, made it sound like I had no right to be pissed. It didn't occur to my consciousness then, but the fact is that that was the turning point. Even without me realising it, your action of siding the wrongdoer had caused the irreversible harm. Yes, I would still care to an extent, but no, not as condition-less as before. So much so that even if you do not want to share something, I can't be more bothered to find out either.

Why does that so remind me of Joanne too?

Anyway, recently one of my closest female friend remarked in her blog about her ability to pick up bad female friends. Well, if it helps, I'm not any better either. Just do up a list of the excess baggage I've never successfully rid myself of, and you'll realise that, hey, it's part and parcel of growing up to. So, cheer up cause what doesn't break you will only make you stronger, k? *hugz*

Disclaimer: The above post is a reflection of the author's thoughts for the day, and is not directed to defame, annoy, upset any characters. Any possible incitement of anger to any party is purely unintentional.

Persistence

After years of searching some people using Google, you would think that I would finally give up and stop this meaningless search. But no, I still insist on trying my luck every year.

In any case, Happy Teachers' Day, the teachers whom I respect, especially those whom I'm not been able to locate in any way (esp Mrs Leong). If not for all your guidance, the Yaofang today might have been a different one.. I don't know.

On another note, flipped through "My Paper" and noticed that 28 August was the date when Mr Ong Teng Cheong was first elected as our President. Had this feeling of "wah".. It's been that long. And the scene of Mr Ong's black and white photo on the TV screen whilst I was on the phone to check if Derrick was joking remains etched in my memory.

Braggart for sale

Or rather to giveaway. If anyone wants.

You are bloody rude when you tell your 2 colleagues to go away when they were "forced" to attend your talk (if you can even consider the nonsence you churn out as talk). And then you try hard so that your colleagues do not get to mingle with the participants. Not that they mind, but it was plain rude to do it blatantly.

Then again, we understand that you were there to brag. About things that were not done by you.

You are not exactly endearing yourself, but you'll get by. Good luck to you, the guy who was the first person in Singapore to be tried for illegally using other people's password, Mr Phan. (http://www.landfield.com/isn/mail-archive/1998/Jul/0079.html)

Just a short note..

Survived yesterday's lesson relatively unscathed. Probably because of the instructor was nicer. Either that, or Mr Tan's assurances and his narration of his own experience made me slightly more assured. Whatever the case, thanks Mr Tan! Really...